Captive Bride - Alta Hensley Page 0,45

by step we dance. His heart beats next to mine. His breath blends with mine. And for the first time since our wedding night, I feel close. I feel Christopher. I haven’t lost him to the shadows. Not yet.

“You said you would lend me your happiness,” he says against my hair. “I feel I need that right now. I feel myself slipping into a deep, dark hole.”

“I’d give you anything,” I say, my heart breaking for how sad he is.

“I’m not like you,” he says. “I can’t shake off the cold chill in my bones like you. I can’t see the silver lining. I just see four walls closing in on me.”

“I’ve had practice,” I admit. “I know how to fight the demons.”

“Well, you’re going to have to teach me how.”

We keep dancing through song after song on the record player as the snow blankets the ground outside. Our wood-burning stove keeps us warm, but it could be a blizzard inside, and I’d still be warm in Christopher’s arms.

I put my hand on his face and giggle. “You have a beard now.”

He chuckles. “If my mother could see me now, she’d die of a stroke.” His smile quickly fades, and sorrow takes over again.

“I can shave it for you,” I offer. “I can borrow a razor from Papa Rich.”

“I’ll keep the beard,” he snaps. He stops dancing and pulls away.

I know me mentioning Papa Rich by name causes Christopher to always lose his temper. I should try to do better and avoid his name at all cost.

I leave the music playing but follow Christopher back to the mattress where we sit.

“I want to make you happy,” I say, feeling defeated.

He shifts on the mattress so he can see me directly. “You’re a good woman, Ember. You are by far the kindest, most genuine person I’ve ever met. You don’t make me unhappy. It’s not you.”

“You want to leave.”

“I want to leave this place. Yes.”

“What about me?” I ask, not sure I want to hear the answer. “What do you feel about me?”

He takes me by the hand. “Confusion, to be honest. A part of me tells me I shouldn’t have any feelings for you considering I’m here against my will and chained to you. Another part of me feels this almost neanderthal feeling to protect you and make you mine forever. And whenever I start to allow feelings to form for you, I feel like something’s wrong with me. Like I’m sick in the head.”

“But aren’t I yours forever?” I ask. “We made vows. We’re married.”

“Ember…” I see pity on his face. “We were forced to marry. You know that right? We were married by a crazy one-legged man. Our marriage isn’t even legal. It’s not real beyond this town.”

“It’s real to me!” The words come out much harsher than I want, but I can’t help it. And for the first time since being chained to Christopher, I really feel trapped. I snap my hand out of his and cross them protectively against my chest. I want to leave. I want to walk through the tunnel and go to the kitchen so I can get some fresh air that is not also breathed by Christopher, but I can’t. “I know we come from different places,” I say much calmer. “But vows mean something to me.” In a tiny voice as I look at my feet, I add, “You mean something to me.”

He reaches for my hand again. I don’t want him touching me, but I don’t really have a choice. I can’t run. I can’t even cross the room to be alone.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he says. I look into his eyes and see sincerity. “I can’t explain all the feelings I have. I feel weak. I’ve never felt so weak and out of control in my life. I don’t want to give up on my plan for escape, and yet… as each day goes by, I find myself doing exactly that.” With his free hand, he moves a piece of my hair behind my ear. “You mean something to me too, Ember. I didn’t mean to make you feel otherwise. You mean a lot to me. In fact, I don’t think I could have gotten by each day here without you. Your sunshine is the only light in my world right now. I need you.”

“I need you.”

He leans forward and kisses me softly. His hands cup the sides of my face as if he’s afraid I’ll pull