Can't Let Go - By Michelle Brewer Page 0,21

a room with him flashed rapidly through her mind and she turned, hurrying back inside. A mirror hung over the dresser and she removed the sunglasses, running her fingers through her hair and wiping at the smudges beneath her eyes.

She was a mess, she acknowledged. With a sigh, she replaced the sunglasses and grabbed her purse from a nearby chair, making her way toward the door. “Do you want to drive?” Abby asked as she stepped out on the balcony. “I’ve just been driving—”

“Sure, that’s fine.” They began to walk toward the stairs, both silent. “I was thinking—for the wake—there’s the restaurant that Blake would take Hayley to for dinner, but they’d always get breakfast—”

“Whenever she was having a bad day,” Abby finished, a fresh wave of tears pooling in her eyes. She closed them tightly, willing them away. “Yeah, Hayley loved that place.”

“I was thinking maybe we could have it there. That is, if they don’t mind or anything—”

“I can call and check on it tonight—”

“I can do it—”

“It’s okay, Logan. I don’t mind making phone calls.” She shrugged as they neared his truck. “It keeps me busy.”

“I just don’t want to shove all of the work off onto you.”

“You’re not.” Abby would willingly accept anything he pushed off on to her. She would greet it with open arms and she would throw herself full-force into it. Anything to keep her mind off of everything that was going on. “See, you’re doing something right now by driving.”

“You’re just trying to make me feel better.”

“There’s no reason I’d be doing that, Logan. I mean—honestly, what reason do I have to want to make you feel better?” The comment was a bit snippier than she had intended and she instantly regretted it. Even if it was the truth—even if she knew she shouldn’t be going out of her way to make him feel better—she knew she shouldn’t have spoken it aloud. “I’m sorry—”

“No, I deserved that.” He came to her side of the truck first, opening the door for her. She was fully aware of his eyes on her—she could feel them burning through her. “I probably deserve worse than that.” She fought the urge to look up and meet his eyes. There was an odd tone in his voice—one she didn’t quite recognize. But she said nothing as she climbed into the truck, careful to avoid his gaze. The door swung shut and she watched him walk around to the other door.

“That was all a long time ago, Logan,” Abby finally spoke after several moments of silence, her eyes trained on the passing scenery as he drove. “I think—right now, especially—we should just pretend it never happened.”

“But Abby—”

“Please, Logan?” The mentioning of the past opened the wound once more and she tried very hard to push it all away. “I just—I can’t. Not right now.”

“We will have to talk about it, Abby. Maybe not right now—but eventually.”

It was the last thing either of them said until they were walking through the cemetery. Logan took her toward the back, where they were currently offering plots. “I think maybe one by the trees?” An image conjured in her mind of their former fantasy as she spoke, her eyes welling up once more.

“I think so too.” Logan said, his voice distant. Abby was certain he was recalling the same memories. “I think they’d be happy with that.”

“She was pregnant, you know.” The words had left her mouth before she’d even thought about it. “Hayley—she’d just called—”

“I know,” Logan nodded, looking down at the ground. “Blake called me. She surprised him with a picnic—baby carrots, baby back ribs, baby bananas.”

“They were so happy, Logan.” The image from her phone flashed through her mind and she swallowed at the lump in her throat. “How could this be happening?”

“I don’t know, Abby.” Her vision blurred as she stared straight ahead, her heart aching.

“They should be here. They should be planning baby names and arguing about colors for the nursery.” A tear escaped, rolling down her cheek. “But instead, we’re here, planning their funeral.”

“Things happen, Abigail. Things happen in life that we don’t expect and that we don’t understand. But they happen.”

“But this wasn’t supposed to. Not yet—not like this.” Clouds were rolling in, blotting out the sun—fitting, she thought, for such an occasion.

“I know.”

“It hurts so badly.” She swallowed once more, but it did nothing to stop the tears from rolling freely down her cheeks. She wasn’t aware of Logan moving beside her until he came