Can't Fight It - Kaylee Ryan Page 0,36
and turn and look at his empty bed. I don’t know why I’m having such a hard time with this. He’s in good hands, and I know that. I just want those hands to be mine. Always.
In the living room, I find my parents, Hollis, and Milo, all laughing. Hollis leans into Milo, who is still in my dad’s arms and says, “Boo,” and the little bugger gives her a toothy grin. “He likes you,” I say, startling her—if the way she whirls around to look at me is any indication.
“He’s a cutie, Colton. You should be proud.”
“I am. Aren’t I, little man? You get your good looks from Daddy, right?” I ask playfully. Not that his mother wasn’t pretty, she was, but I’m not much on talking about the woman who threw her son away. I still have mixed feelings about her. I’m grateful she got him to my family, but still can’t understand how she could just give him up. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
“We should get going so you can be on your way.” Dad hands Milo to me, and I kiss him, all over his tiny little face.
“I’m going to miss you. Don’t be giving Grandma and Grandpa a hard time.” I put him up to my shoulder and give him a gentle squeeze. His baby scent wraps around me, and I feel as though I could cry. In fact, if Hollis were not standing right here with us, I just might have. “Why is this so hard?” I ask, my voice gravelly with emotion.
“Because he’s a part of you,” Mom replies softly. “Just wait until he tells you he wants to join the Army. Wait until he’s gone for months at a time and can’t tell you where he is. This is nothing,” she says, wiping the corner of her eye.
With my hand firmly on Milo’s back, holding him close, I snake the other arm around Mom’s waist and pull her into my chest. “Love you, Mom,” I say, my voice low and just for her. I get it now. The worry, the tears. I get it.
“Enough of that,” she says, pulling away. “Call and check on him anytime, but I assure he’s going to be just fine.”
“Thanks, guys.” I give Milo one more hug before putting his coat on him and strapping him into his car seat. I walk them to the door and watch as they grab the base of the car seat out of my truck to place in the back of Mom’s SUV. And then, just like that, they’re gone.
“You okay?” Hollis asks from behind me.
I close the door, realizing I was just standing there, letting all the cold air inside, and turn to face her. “I’m good. It’s just… hard to know I’m not going to be with him for so long. It’s the longest I’ve gone since I found out he was mine.”
“He’s lucky to have you.” Something passes in her eyes, but she masks it before I can figure it out.
“Are you ready to learn how to kick some ass?” I ask, giving her a wide grin.
“Definitely.” She returns my smile. “Are you nervous?” she asks once we’re in my truck and headed to All Fit.
“About the class? No. This is what I’ve been trained to do.”
“Do you miss it? The Army?” she asks, then quickly adds. “I’m sorry I’m being nosey. It’s none of my business.”
“No. It’s fine. I miss my brothers-in-arms. Their life was in my hands, and mine in theirs. That’s a bond that runs deep.”
“Are they all still enlisted?”
“Yes, some are, some are honorably discharged, some just did it on their own.”
“Maybe you should reach out to them. Introduce them to your son.”
“You know, that’s not a bad idea. I just might do that.”
“That’s my one good idea for the day. I’m all tapped out.”
I glance over in time to see her tap her index finger against her temple as she flashes a grin. “Just one?” I tease. “I think there are more good ideas bouncing around up there.”
“Nope.” She pops the P, making me smile.
“Here we are.” I pull my truck into the lot and turn off the engine. “Thanks for coming early. I just wanted to be here when everyone started showing up.” I look through the front window of my truck at the snow that started falling on our way here. “Then again, this looks like it’s sticking. Class might be small.”
“Should you cancel?” She leans forward