take it all. I’m like a kid in a candy store who intends to gorge himself on all the sweetness laid out before him.
“Were you serious last night?” she whispers.
Those thoughts buzz around in my brain, making it difficult to focus. “Hmmm?”
When she remains silent, I force my gaze to hers and realize there’s a deep flush staining her cheeks.
Some of the sexual haze clouding my better judgment evaporates. “Serious about what?”
Her gaze darts away.
“Don’t do that,” I growl. No longer will I allow her to hide from me or what’s unfolding between us.
Her wide gaze snaps to mine before she blurts, “Were you serious when you said that you’ve liked me for years?”
My hands tighten around the sides of her head. “Don’t you understand?” A second or two tick by. “Where you’re concerned, I’m as serious as a fucking heart attack.”
She gulps. “And I’m the reason you’ve held off on sex?”
I draw her closer, resting my forehead against hers. “Since the moment you came into my life, you’ve been my reason for everything.” Not once do I break eye contact. “Does that freak you out?”
She remains silent for a long stretch of time, and I panic. Fuck...I probably shouldn’t have dumped all that on her last night. It was too much, too soon. Unfortunately, there’s no way to back-peddle. For some stupid reason, I decided it was a good idea to be honest and totally strip myself bare.
When she shakes her head, the tension filling my muscles evaporates.
“The last thing I want to do is scare you,” I mutter, feeling self-conscious.
“I’m not scared.” She presses her lips together before admitting, “I like that you waited because you wanted to be with me. It only makes me want you more.”
Heat fills her eyes, and it is so damn sexy. A groan rumbles up from deep in my throat as my cock stiffens. All I want to do is sink deep inside her.
“You have,” her tongue darts out to moisten her lips, “done stuff, right?”
“Yeah, I’m not a total nube,” I mutter.
“Like what?” Her eyes light with undisguised interest. “Tell me.”
Heat floods my cheeks as I shrug, embarrassment swamping me, threatening to drag me under. This is a humiliating conversation to have with the one girl I’ve always fantasized about. I don’t want Demi to think I’m not man enough to please her because I haven’t screwed a ton of girls.
Or, in my case, any.
With my hands cupping the sides of her skull and our foreheads touching, she tilts her head until her mouth can slide over mine. As soon as her tongue brushes across the seam of my lips, I open until they can tangle. I’m about to lose myself in the caress when she pulls away.
Her breath comes out in short sharp pants that drift across my lips. It’s almost drugging. “There’s no reason we can’t have an open conversation about this, right?”
Ugh. The sexual haze surrounding me disintegrates.
“Yeah, I guess.” Like I want her to realize just how inexperienced I am? I’ve already put that out there. Is there any reason to rub it in?
“Don’t be embarrassed.”
It’s much too late for that. Somewhere, deep inside, I’m dying.
Slowly.
“I want to be upfront about everything.” Quickly she adds, “You can ask me questions, too.” With our bodies fused together, she pulls away until there’s a bit of distance between our chests.
Mentally I steel myself for the oncoming humiliation. If this is what it will take to make this girl mine, then I’ll do it. “All right, fire away.”
And that’s exactly how it feels...like I’m standing in front of a firing squad with no chance of escaping unscathed. She’s either going to find my inexperience a turn-on or not. I can’t help but wonder for the umpteenth time why the hell I blurted out my virginal status. That wasn’t something she needed to know.
“Have you ever had a blow job?”
I jerk my head into a nod.
When I remain silent, her voice drops. “A lot of them?”
“Yeah.” It’s not something I’ve ever kept track of, but there has been a good amount. The first time a girl went down on me was sophomore year of high school. She bore an uncanny resemblance to Demi. I’m not proud of it, but with the girl’s head buried in my lap, I could stroke my fingers through her long dark hair and pretend she was someone else. I remember exploding in her mouth and her sucking me down until every muscle turned limp.