Hurt flashes in Rowan’s eyes, leaving me to feel like a first-class jerk. It’s on the tip of my tongue to apologize, but I can’t push out the words.
When I remain silent, he mutters, “Yeah, sure. No problem.”
From the corner of my eye, I watch as he slides to the end of the row before walking down the carpeted staircase. A few girls wave, trying to capture his attention before calling him over to an unoccupied desk.
My belly pinches with unwanted jealousy. His expression transforms and he smiles, focusing on the trio of girls. It should be a relief that he’s taken the hint and is no longer at my side. Without us putting on a show, people have already lost interest and are turning away.
Whether Rowan understands it or not, I did what needed to be done. Neither of us want the rumor mill churning at our expense.
And yet, that knowledge only makes me feel worse.
13
Demi
This has turned out to be one hell of a shitty day. Someone needs to explain how Justin is the one who cheated, and yet, he’s managed to turn everything around and make me the bad guy in this fucked up scenario. Instead of his name being on everyone’s lips, it’s mine.
The sidelong glances I’ve been getting from people I don’t even know is ridiculous. At first, I told myself it was nothing more than my imagination. But it’s become clear throughout the morning that isn’t the case. I keep hearing my name paired with Rowan and the team. Apparently, I’ve been a busy girl and screwed every single one of them. Lord knows how I have time for so much sex with both school and soccer.
Unsure what to do, I escaped to the only place capable of making me feel better.
I lay on my back in the middle of the stadium field and stare up at the bright blue canvas of sky stretched out overhead. Normally, I would grab something to eat between my second and third class, but there was no way I was walking into the Union without reinforcements.
My fingers stroke absently over the turf as I try to settle all of the rioting emotion inside me. I’ve never been one to let petty bullshit bother me, but what’s happening right now stings. I foolishly allowed the person into my life who set all of this into motion. Instead of being apologetic and taking responsibility for his bad behavior, Justin would rather make me out to be the villain in this scenario.
Every once in a while, the football rumors will rear their ugly head. When they do, I’m always worried that Dad will catch wind of them. He’s never come out and said I couldn’t date any of the guys on the team. It’s more of an unspoken rule. If I were to get together with one of his players, it would only complicate matters. Not only between me and my dad, but him and the guys. So, I’ve always done what’s best for everyone and steered clear.
And yet, here we are.
Again.
A heavy sigh escapes from my lips.
“Is it really that bad?”
Rowan’s deep voice knocks me from my thoughts. I blink against the harsh sunlight, shielding my eyes as he drops down beside me. An uncomfortable silence settles over us. One I’m unsure how to break. I’m embarrassed by my earlier behavior. I know he was only trying to help.
“Why are you here?” Practice is never scheduled for this time of day.
His voice softens. “Because I know you’re upset about what that jackass said, and I wanted to make sure you were all right.”
The concern filling his voice only makes me feel worse. Rowan is being so damn nice, and I don’t deserve it after the way I treated him.
The guilt nearly swallows me whole, and I force myself to say, “Sorry for asking you to move in stats. I shouldn’t have done that.”
Rowan stretches out beside me. His head is only a few inches from mine. The tips of our fingers touch but don’t entwine. And yet, I’m acutely aware of them.
Of him.
All it would take is a slight movement, and we would be holding hands. The temptation that crashes over me only serves to confuse me more. If I’m being completely honest with myself, I’m ridiculously aware of Rowan on every level. I’m hyperaware of the way his chest rises and falls with each deep inhalation. No one has ever made me feel