Call Her Mine (Harmony Pointe #1)- Melissa Foster Page 0,40
so fast from his confession, the truth poured out. “Ben, I don’t do one-night stands. There wasn’t anyone touching me.”
His brows slanted in confusion.
“I mean, once, in college,” she admitted, “but not since.”
“What about the football guy and the designer?”
She shook her head. “I didn’t do anything but kiss them good night. Until last night I hadn’t been with anyone since I broke up with Kent.”
His eyes filled with disbelief. “Aurelia, I might have a kid. It’s not like you have to hide indiscretions.”
“I’m not. I didn’t want you to know because you were going out and having fun, and there I was, hanging on to my unrequited emotions, which made me a loser.”
He reached across the seat, and his arm circled her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. He pressed his lips to hers and said, “They weren’t unrequited, and you could never be a loser. If anyone is a loser, it’s me, for thinking a brief encounter could ever take my mind off you.” He pressed a kiss to the back of her hand and said, “I’m sorry to put you through this, and I’m sorry to put B through this—and her mother, whoever she is. If I’d told you how I felt sooner, this might not have happened.”
“I didn’t exactly make it easy for you. I never thought you’d want a girlfriend, so every time you joked about getting together in that way, I blew you off.”
“I still could have pushed.”
“And I would have pushed back. Ben, you can’t blame yourself for a relationship not happening when it was just as much my fault.” She glanced at the house and said, “We should get this over with.”
He swallowed hard, his brow furrowing. “What should I say to her?”
“I think you can lead with something like, ‘Did you drop a baby off on my doorstep?’”
He laughed. “Smart-ass.”
“Made you smile.”
They climbed from the truck, and as she came around the front he said, “Are you sure you want to come up to the door?”
“Would you rather I didn’t?”
“I’d rather you did, but I get it if it’s too difficult.”
She laced her fingers with his and said, “I already feel like I’m going to puke. What’s a little more discomfort?”
Aurelia thought she was going to puke? Not only did he feel guilty as fuck for dragging Aurelia through this—and for the baby’s sake—but now, as they approached the house, he was pretty sure he was going to pass out. “What if she thinks I’m here because I want to hook up again?”
Aurelia held up their joined hands and said, “Unless she’s into threesomes, I think you’re safe. You’re really nervous, aren’t you? I’ve never seen you like this. You’re sweating.”
He gave her a sideways glance. “What if it’s her? I don’t know that I’ll be able to keep from giving her hell, and I’m really trying not to get attached to B, but—”
“You too?” She stopped walking halfway to the front door and stared up at him. “I’ve been trying so hard not to snuggle her too much, or think about how amazing she smells or how her cheeks are softer than anything I’ve ever felt. Or how I love it when she wraps her tiny fingers around mine. And when she’s in my arms, sometimes I just want to cry for her, because she was abandoned by her mother. But I know she might not be yours, so I hold it all in because I’m afraid of how much it’ll hurt if she’s taken away.”
Ben gathered her in his arms, resting his cheek against the top of her head. He felt her heart racing as fast as his.
“I’ve been doing the same thing,” he admitted. “Last night, while you were sleeping, I just stared at her for the longest time, telling myself not to feel so much. But it’s an impossible task because she’s so little, and so frigging cute and innocent. I didn’t even want to leave her with Piper to come here, and the thought of going to work . . . ? It feels like I’ll be abandoning her, too.”
Aurelia tipped her face up and said, “Maybe we shouldn’t hold back. Maybe it’s better for her if we let our love come out, so at least she’ll know what it feels like to be loved. The books said babies feel everything their caretakers feel. And love is good, right? Even if we’re sad if she eventually goes to someone else, isn’t some love better than none?”