That hurt. She knew he was probably telling the truth, but there had been a time she hadn't believed they kept secrets from each other.
His gaze met hers and she could see the gold flecks meshing into his green irises. She saw emotion there. Hurt, jealousy, betrayal, anger. It struck her right then that everything he felt was what she, too, was feeling.
For a flicker of a second, she told herself he didn't have a right to feel those things; but she'd never been a great liar, not even when she lied to herself. Lucas had kissed her. She had feelings for Lucas, albeit confused feelings, but she still had them for him. How could she be so mad at Derek right now and not accept that he deserved his own anger?
She blinked, and the moment grew more awkward with each beat of silence. "I came here to ask you about..." She held out the phone and then dropped her hand back to her side. "But I suddenly realize you don't owe me an answer. I'm sorry, I..." Unable to finish, she turned to go.
He caught her. No sooner had his touch warmed her skin than he jerked away. And that hurt, too. Was touching her so unpleasant that it caused him to flinch?
"Ask me about what?" He frowned. "What has you so upset?"
"It's nothing. I'm fine." She started to walk away again.
"Damn it, Kylie!" He jumped in front of her. "Don't lie to me. I feel it, remember? I feel everything you feel tenfold. You're really upset about something. You came here to say something to me, so say it."
She hesitated and then turned on Della's phone.
He watched her. "What are you-"
"You'll see." She found the picture and held it out.
His expression shot from angry to ... something different. "Shit." He ran a palm over his face.
"It's okay," Kylie said. "I realize you don't owe me an explanation. Really, I overreacted." She tried to step around him, but he grabbed her again. This time his hand lingered for a few seconds before pulling away.
"Please don't go," he said. "Look, that's Ellie. I told you about her when we first met. I dated her for a while. We ran into each other when I was on the job for Burnett. She was ... she was just happy to see someone she knew."
"Yeah, she looks happy," Kylie said before she could stop the words, and there was an edge of sarcasm to them.
"It looks worse than it really was," he said, but he couldn't hide the guilt that flashed in his eyes.
"You really don't have to explain," Kylie said, suddenly realizing how unfair it was to confront him about this. The last thing she'd want right now was him confronting her about Lucas. She closed the phone and tucked it in her pocket. "You don't-"
"Yes, I do have to explain," Derek snapped. He drew in a pound of oxygen and hesitated before starting again. "Look, I was going to tell you anyway."
"No, you weren't," she said, finding that impossible to believe. "Not that I blame you. We weren't really going out. You don't have to tell me anything."
"I was going to tell you. I don't have a choice."
She studied him, not sure what he meant, and she saw more guilt in his eyes.
"Look," he said. "Ellie's here. I brought her back to the camp."
The bolt of lightning that flashed in front of Kylie a few minutes ago had shocked her less than Derek's admission. But she was pretty damn proud of herself for not letting it show. Then again, she didn't have to let it show. He could read her, but it didn't stop her from pretending. And if she pretended long enough, she might even believe it herself.
"That's good." She forced a smile.
"I had to, Kylie. She'd run away from home and was living in some hellhole of a commune. She needed help."
"I'm glad you were there for her," she said.
"Christ, Kylie! Quit friggin' pretending like I can't read you. It's me, damn it."
"Then stop reading me." Kylie's throat knotted instantly. Tears threatened, but she held them back.
"I wish I could. It would solve all our problems. I wish to God I could stop it!" He swung an angry hand through the air.
"What do you mean?" she asked.