to share with you regarding the shooter, but I’ve just come from listening to the biggest load of absolute bullshit that’s ever been spewed at me, and I do not have the ability to repeat it to you in a professional capacity. In other words, if you want to know what happened, I'm going to speak freely.”
“I've been hanging around with a bunch of bikers; I think I'll be okay,” Sloane joked.
Tatum shook her head and dropped into a chair. "Let me start by apologizing in advance. This is a long and fucked up story. Side note: I’ll refer to the shooter as Dill from this point forward since we’re still in the process of verifying her legal name.”
She paused and inhaled deeply before beginning. “Dill was one of your fans—a superfan is the term that was used, I believe. Of course, she had all of your books. When she got engaged and moved in with her fiancé, she hid her collection of your books in her closet. At some point, the fiancé found the books, read them, and became obsessed with you.”
“What?” Sloane gasped.
Tatum nodded and continued. “Yep. He was obsessed with you to the point that he started asking Dill to dye her hair the same color as yours, and he even made requests for her to dress like you did in some of your pictures on social media. She didn't figure it out until he made a few requests in the bedroom that were very similar to scenes from some of your books.”
Tatum paused and looked down at the phone in her hand before she continued. “By this time, Dill was on your ARC team. This is when she started suggesting that you write things for her and her fiancé to try in the bedroom. She wanted him to think it was based on scenes from your stories when it was really her idea. According to her, that worked for almost a year. Everything went to shit when you repeatedly rejected one of her ideas. She said you eventually refused to speak to her about it anymore and kicked her off of your review team. This part was somewhat unclear, but she said your stories had changed, and she wasn't willing to go along with it anymore. Which ultimately led to him breaking up with her. She blamed you for ruining their relationship.”
“She did all of this just to get back at me for something I didn't even do?” Sloane asked.
“Actually no,” Tatum said and leaned forward on her elbows. “She did all of this to prevent you and your books from ruining other relationships.”
“You have got to be shitting me?” I shouted and got to my feet, cringing at the slight burn in my shoulder.
“Don’t get upset and hurt yourself because of me,” Sloane said. The concern in her voice had me closing my mouth and settling back into my seat. “I’m not upset,” I clarified. “I’m pissed.”
“Shut it, Pink Diva, I’m not finished.”
I glared at Tatum. She knew how much I hated those fucking nicknames. “One day, you’ll lose, and it’s going to be glorious.”
She rolled her eyes and completely ignored my threat. “Seriously, I have to know. What was the idea you rejected?”
Sloane’s cheeks flushed while her eyes darted wildly around the room. “Uh, I’ll have to fill you in on that one later.”
Frankie, who’d been surprisingly silent, answered for her. “No, you won’t. It’s because her suggestions started with things like incorporating ice cubes or strawberries in foreplay, but her suggestion to start using vegetables for penetration was where Sloane drew the line.”
Sloane slapped her palm over her face and groaned while Tatum threw her head back and laughed hysterically. “Oh, shit,” she said and wiped the tears from her eyes. “I just got it. Dill Doe,” she barely managed to say before cracking up again. “A cucumber dildo,” she wheezed.
Frankie gasped and grabbed her phone. “Has anyone in here read Dill’s books?”
Almost in unison, everyone answered with, “No.”
Moments later, Frankie held her phone out to show us the screen. “This is one of her books. Corn Porn, featuring a married couple living on a farm and spicing up their marriage with their new harvest of corn.”
Sloane groaned, in a way that had me instantly by her side. “You have to stop! It hurts when I laugh.”
“If that happens again, I’m making everyone leave,” I announced and made eye contact with each person in the room.