Broken River - Ruby Shae Page 0,23

ledge was wide enough to accommodate his big body, but there was also a metal railing that ran along the edge, which stopped anyone from falling. Not that he let anyone get that close. No one, not even his siblings, had ever been to his hideaway on the roof. Elle was the first, and he knew, deep down in his soul, that she would be the only person he ever shared this space with.

He kept hold of her hand as she followed him up a steep flight of stairs, and just like she had kept hold of him earlier, he didn’t let go when they reached the top. He knew the place was special, mostly because it was special to him, but he tried to look at it with fresh eyes to see what Elle saw.

“Oh, Liam,” she said dreamily, “it’s beautiful.”

Except for the entrance at the stairs, the roof had a two-foot high ledge all around it, and white fairy lights were strung along the entire perimeter. There were two Adirondack chairs seated in the middle of the space, and a small, matching table sat between them. Up until yesterday, there had only been one chair up here, just like at the fire pit, but he wanted to share his life with Elle, and that meant he wanted her to be—and feel—comfortable wherever he was.

Elle looked up, smiled, and let out a small sigh. He knew exactly what that noise meant because he felt the same way. There were no trees above his cabin, or above the fire pit, and the view of the night sky from the rooftop was amazing.

“This is amazing,” she said, mimicking his thoughts. “Thank you for putting a second chair up here, and at the fire pit, and for sharing these spaces with me.”

She flashed him a huge smile, and for a moment, he couldn’t think. Her gratitude was genuine, as if she understood the gravity of those actions, and he appreciated the fact that she didn’t take his offerings for granted.

She understood him, and outside of his family, that was rare.

“Let’s sit,” he said, trying to regain his thoughts.

They sat in silence for several minutes, and even though it was companionable, his mind was racing. Now that he had Elle alone, he was nervous to ask the questions that plagued him. What if she viewed him as nothing more than a means to an end? What if she didn’t feel the same about him that he felt about her? What if he had been mistaken about Gavin’s intentions?

Fuck me!

“We need to talk.”

The words burst from his lips like an explosion, and the look on Elle’s face held shock and something else he couldn’t identify. He hadn’t meant to scare her, but that’s exactly what he’d done, and he could tell she was bracing for some big blow that would shatter the happy moment.

“Sorry,” he said. “I would like to talk, but it’s not as ominous as I made it sound. I’m just a little bit nervous, that’s all.”

“It’s okay, Liam,” she smiled. “What’s up?”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about Gavin, and about our wedding contract, and…I think Gavin was trying to play matchmaker. It’s the only thing that explains why he made that contract in the first place and just didn’t give you the money outright.”

“I think that, too,” she agreed, but she wasn’t looking at him. She was still staring at the stars in the sky, and her whole body remained tense. She was still waiting for something bad to happen.

“The thing is,” he said. “I want that, too, but…”

“But what?”

She was looking at him now, which made the next part harder.

“I’m messed up, Elle,” he started. “When I was in the military, I saw some things—did some things—that fucked with my head. I joined because I wanted to make a difference, because I thought it was the right thing to do, and maybe it was, but I hate what I saw there, hate that I was a part of that, and it plagued me for a long time.

“I had dreams and flashbacks, and they didn’t only come when I was asleep. Sometimes I would look at something and see something else, or hear something…” He took a deep breath, willing the reminders away. “Anyway, those things don’t happen as often anymore, but they still happen. Sometimes, I jolt awake in the middle of the night, or jump when I hear loud noises or fireworks, and I hate crowds. Even small crowds.