Broken by the Horde King (Horde Kings of Dakkar #4) - Zoey Draven Page 0,83
her eyes caught on it. Her hands curled at her sides.
A rumbling groan fell from my throat and I purred quietly, “What do you want, rei seffi?”
Do you want to touch me? Feel me? Kiss me the way you did nine years ago?
My question seemed to jerk her out of whatever she’d been thinking. She physically jumped, her breath tumbling out of her in rough pants.
“W-What are you doing, Kiran?” she whispered, her eyes wide in shock.
Reaching past her, I snagged my fur cloth and donned it, one that tied at my waist and concealed my cock. I slept naked and didn’t see the point in wrestling on trews after my washing.
But her next unguarded, strangely vulnerable words made me freeze.
“You…you don’t want me like that. You never have,” she said quietly. “So what are you doing?”
A sound of disbelief, rough and almost angry, tore from my throat.
“What the vok are you talking about?” I asked, my tone low but soft.
Her face was burning, the darkest it had ever been before.
She turned away from me, going over to the fire basin, showing me her back.
“Tell me,” I murmured, trying to keep my voice steady. I had a suspicion of what she’d meant by the words. Approaching her, I questioned, “Because of that night?”
A ragged breath whistled through her nostrils.
“You just…you never wanted me.”
I hated how brittle her words sounded. How uncertain they were. My brave, confident Maeva.
I had hurt her so many times that she carried some wounds I wasn’t even aware of.
My jaw tensed as determination coursed through me. That was our past, however. And I would damn well make sure that I showed her just how much I wanted her, how much I desired her.
How much I’d needed her all these years.
“I watched you for so long,” she whispered, still not meeting my gaze. “I knew there were other females. What your pujerak said didn’t surprise me. And I—I knew that you didn’t return my feelings.”
“Maeva…” I rasped, raking back my wet hair, feeling the droplets run down my chest. Vok.
“You never gave me any indication that you wanted me,” she whispered and I could hear the mortification in her tone. This wasn’t easy for her. But it was that same strength that I knew she possessed that was bringing these words to the surface. Because my Maeva didn’t back down from anything. “So I thought that I could be bold, like the females you had liked in the saruk. But that night, on the cliff, you…”
“I rejected you,” I finished for her.
She shook her head. Then my brave Maeva turned and she met my eyes, letting me witness her embarrassment. I frowned when I saw it coupled with shame.
“It wasn’t just about the rejection,” she said, her chin lifting. “I remember the way you looked at me. I’ve always remembered it.”
I frowned. I didn’t know what she was talking about. I don’t remember feeling anything that night but punishing desire and shame for my own actions—at hurting her, at realizing that I would only disappoint her.
“I don’t understand, seffi,” I admitted, shaking my head.
“You were disgusted.”
That was certainly not what I expected and I barely stopped myself from reeling back in surprise.
Then came the anger, flashing through my chest like lightning, my body tensing tight.
“I threw myself at you,” Maeva whispered, blinking, swallowing, her breaths coming quick. “I bared myself to you. And all I remember is the way you looked at me. Like my body repulsed you. Like I did. And I knew then that you truly didn’t desire me…though I had hoped you would. For so long.”
Vok.
Vok, vok, vok.
I was such a vokking fool.
Chest tight with regret, I moved to step towards her just as I heard someone striding up to my voliki.
“Maeva,” I said, my voice low and tight. I was barely holding onto my control. “Vok, I’ve always—”
“Vorakkar,” came a male voice from outside.
I cursed loudly, looking at Maeva, a deep scowl etched into my features, though she was looking towards the entrance of my voliki. In relief.
“Neffar?” I snarled to the intruder outside, raising my voice so he would be able to hear it.
A darukkar ducked his head inside, one that I’d posted at the gates for the night watch. His eyes flickered to Maeva and she turned her head away, putting space between us as if embarrassed to be caught in the Vorakkar’s voliki.
“What is it?” I growled, tension and anger thrumming tight inside me.