senior year of high school, days after I turned eighteen, my dad came into my bedroom and told me that he and my mom were splitting up. All my life, it had been the three of us—Mom, Dad, me. My parents were everything. And suddenly, my world turned upside down. I couldn’t get my bearings. It was as if the floor beneath me had disappeared. I wasn’t allowed to say anything about the separation to anyone, which made it even more painful. Five days after graduation, my mom and I moved away from my Indiana hometown—leaving behind my childhood home, my dad, my dog, my best friend, and the boy I liked—to the mountains of North Carolina. It was a summer of lasts and firsts, and all these years later, that time of my life is still a very emotional place to visit.
Breathless is the book I never thought I’d write. It is, in many ways, even more personal for me than All the Bright Places. It’s the book I needed when I was sixteen, seventeen, eighteen. But it’s not a story I could write without the support and encouragement of a great many people.
Seven years ago, my literary agent, Kerry Sparks, took a chance on me, believed in me, and changed my life forever—both personally and professionally—in ways glittering and unimaginable. She is electric sunshine, brilliant and amazing, mama bear supreme when she needs to be, super-savvy editor, dear, hilarious friend, and my absolute hero on this earth. Thank you to Kerry and to everyone at Levine Greenberg Rostan Literary Agency for all you are and all you do.
Knopf’s Melanie Nolan is one of the very best editors I’ve ever had the privilege of working with. From that first lunch, where we bonded over Little Darlings and I knew she just got it, to our cowboy-boot shopping spree to every astute, insightful, aha-inducing note, and the way in which she has so giftedly offered guidance, while at the same time cultivating and nurturing my creative freedom, our collaboration has been invaluable. I am honored to work with her.
I have the most wonderful home at Penguin Random House, and the most wonderful publishing family. Deepest, heartfelt, unceasing thanks to Barbara Marcus, Felicia Frazier, Judith Haut, Jillian Vandall, Dominique Cimina, Morgan Maple, Arely Guzmán, Pam White, Jocelyn Lange, Lauren Morgan, John Adamo, Elizabeth Ward, Kelly McGauley, Jenn Inzetta, Alison Impey, Adrienne Waintraub, Emily DuVal, Megan Mitchell, Jake Eldred, Kate Keating, Noreen Herits, Gillian Levinson, Karen Sherman, Artie Bennett, and everyone else there who has helped bring this book into the world. You are eternally some of my brightest places. Also immense gratitude for artist Tito Merello, whose exquisite painting of Claude and Miah brought them to life on the cover.
My fabulous UK editor, Ben Horslen, and the entire Penguin Random House UK family are also the brightest of places. I send them one million thank-yous and my undying appreciation for this, our third literary journey together. Thank-yous and undying appreciation as well to Sylvie Rabineau and Lauren Szurgot of WME for their faith and enthusiasm in my books and me. With them in my corner, I feel like I can conquer the world—and I want to be both of them when I grow up.
I have enormous love and thanks for the generous, welcoming folks of Sapelo Island, especially Chris and Barbara Bailey, as well as the folks of the Outer Banks and Cumberland Island. (Jared Hilliard, I’m fortunate to not only call you my friend but to include you in this story!) I had the privilege of sharing some memorable summer evenings of dinner and wine with fellow bibliophile and friend Lisa Langshaw, who died before I could finish this one, but whose effervescent soul lives on in Addy.
My delightful, what-would-I-do-without-her assistant, Briana Bailey (all mentions of wild hogs are for you!). And my terrific social media assistants, Mackenzie and Lila Vanacore, whose expertise and inspired ideas fill me with awe on a daily basis. Special shout-out to Kenzie for letting me share her profound words, mixing them with my own, for Wednesday’s last speech to Claude, the one about breaking free of boxes.
My very first reader, Justin Conway (more on him in a moment), who is also a dynamite editor. And my earliest young readers, Briana Bailey, Annalise von Sprecken, Mackenzie and Lila, Katie-May Taylor, and Gabriel Duval. As well as Kerry Kletter, who is not only one of the best editors I know, she’s also one of