Breathe You - C.R. Jane Page 0,88
hall table and trace my finger on the white envelope that holds my name on it.
Logan.
Rocks fall to the pit of my stomach, my heart being fisted with such an unyielding grip that I’m finding it difficult to breathe. Whatever words she decided to write down in these letters, I know it won’t be the happily ever after I thought one of us would get.
When Quaid runs back downstairs and Carter returns to the foyer, they just stare at the same envelopes I now can’t move from.
“W-What is it?” Quaid stutters, hesitating to come any closer.
Though I haven’t opened my letter, I answer him anyway, knowing its contents even without reading a word.
“It’s goodbye.”
Chapter 17
Now
_____________________________________
Valentina
The sun fills up the room, and I savor the sound of Logan and Quaid dreaming beside me. Carter is curled up at the bottom of my bed, new bruises covering his beautiful face, and my lips tremble at the sight of all of them here with me. It’s more than I deserve.
I feel like there’s a huge weight off my chest. Now that my secret’s out, it feels like I can finally breathe. I hadn’t quite realized what a burden I’d been feeling, how much the guilt kept choking me.
And now, all of that is gone.
It’s raining again. Apparently, we caught Prague during its rainy season, if that’s even a thing. The balcony doors are open, and there’s a slight mist falling into the room. As if in a trance, I somehow make my way off the bed, trying my best not to wake them up, and I walk to the balcony.
I step gingerly onto the balcony, laughing when the rain begins to fall on my face. I spread my arms out and spin, knowing that if anyone was watching me right now, they would think that I was crazy.
And maybe I am. But I somehow know that this is the last bucket list item I’m going to be checking off before the end. So I might as well enjoy it.
I feel a touch at my waist, and I twirl around to see Logan standing there. His deep blue eyes look haunted. He looks like overnight, all the happiness has been sucked out of him. He tries to smile at me, but the smile doesn’t quite catch.
“It’s alright, my love,” I whisper. He doesn’t say anything in return, just stares at me like he’s memorizing this moment, right now.
He pulls me close and puts his arms around me.
And then we dance.
We dance slow to a song only we can hear. My head lies on his shoulder. The rain pours down in sheets.
“When today is just a memory to me, I know I’ll still be loving you,” he softly sings in my ear, and I swear my heart clenches. Logan knows that was one of my dad’s favorite songs. When I was sick as a little girl, he’d pick me up and dance me across the room while singing that song.
My tears join the raindrops that are falling down my face, and I wonder why life has to be so unbearably cruel.
I pull away from him briefly. “Can you do me one last favor?” I ask, knowing that I don’t deserve to ask him that, even as the words leave my mouth.
“Anything,” he swears.
“I just want these last few weeks to be happy. I know that it’s a hard thing to ask of you. But I want to hear you laugh, I want to see Quaid smile, I want to see Carter roll his eyes with that infuriating smirk that means he’s secretly amused. I want to take those moments with me to whatever’s waiting for me. Do you think that’s possible?”
“I’ll do my best,” he promises. “But you have to know that you’ve ripped out my soul. I’m not sure that it’s possible for me to even pretend to be happy anymore. But I’ll do my best.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, and we continue to dance.
Logan eventually freaks out after he decides that dancing in the rain is bad for my health, so he scoops me up. The other two pieces of my heart are awake now, nursing cups of coffee with identical hungover looks on their faces.
Quaid looks like he’s going to cry when he sees me, while Carter just looks resigned.
“Will you take a bath with me?” I ask Quaid, and he somberly stands up.
We walk hand in hand to the bathroom, and he gets to work drawing the water. He pours in some