Breathe You - C.R. Jane Page 0,73
that she’s going to go somewhere that I can’t find her.
But I understand. At least now, after finding the bottom of a bottle and getting into a bar fight, I understand. If she’d told us from the beginning, we wouldn’t have healed the way that we have.
And even though I feel like I’ve been cut open and left out to die right now, I also can acknowledge that reuniting with her and the men that I once considered brothers…it did heal something in me.
If she had told us, we wouldn’t have Spain, we wouldn’t have Greece, we wouldn’t have Florence.
Like I said, I get it.
I get as close to her as I can manage, considering the fact that Logan and Quaid are so close they could smother her, and I watch her chest rise and fall, the movement temporarily soothing the ache that’s taken over my whole body.
I vow right then that there’s nowhere she can go that I won’t try and follow her to.
Anywhere without her would just be hell.
Life holds no meaning if I can’t share it with her.
I should know.
I’ve lived in utter purgatory these past ten years without her.
Chapter 14
Then
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Valentina
“Val?” Logan croaks out, surprised when he sees me walking down the stairs.
I give him a little nod in greeting, holding onto the rail so I don’t tumble over. My legs still feel out of sorts, trembling from either lack of use or retaliation for leaving my bed after so many weeks.
But it’s time.
I’ve laid out in my room for long enough, even going as far as missing out on my graduation ceremony. But then again, what reason would I have to go? My father wouldn’t be out there in the stands, cheering me on as I grabbed my diploma. There would be no father daughter dinner afterwards, dreaming about the possibilities of the future while he showered me with pride and affection. I couldn’t even stomach the idea of going up to that podium and giving my valedictorian speech. I had practiced it too many times in front of him to not seek him out while I delivered it. It would just remind me of all the huge life events that I will no longer be able to share with him.
The only thing that makes me sadder is that the boys didn’t attend theirs either, preferring to stay holed up in my house looking after me. It wasn’t fair to them. But against all my rebuttals and every plea telling them to go, they made their own choice and stayed. I’d never ask them to miss out on such an important day. But they did anyway. For me.
“Do you need something, Valentina?” Carter asks with the same concern to his tone, bridging the gap between us so he can offer me his hand.
I shake my head and take the last step on my own. I’ve become an orphan, not an invalid. As I stand in the foyer, I do everything in my power not to look to my right where the living room is. I don’t think I’ll be able to step inside that room for the rest of my life. All it holds now is memories of me finding my lifeless father’s body on the couch.
“Do you want something to eat?” Logan interjects, placing his body between me and that horrid room, sensing exactly where my thoughts were headed.
“Some tea would be nice,” I rasp as I make my way to the kitchen.
My voice doesn’t even sound like my own. My throat is still hoarse from all the crying I’ve done. I never imagined someone had the ability to cry for such a long duration of time. It felt like it was an endless well of suffering determined to be purged out of me, whether I consented to it or not.
When I get into the kitchen, I see that Quaid is just finishing up making breakfast.
“Quaid, our girl here wants some tea. Can you fix her a mug?” Carter winks at me as he pulls up a chair for me to sit down and then takes the one right beside me.
“Sure thing. Chamomile, okay?” Quaid asks, trying to sound upbeat, but his voice is just as strained as my own.
I feel Logan’s fingers run through my hair lovingly as he stands behind me, and for a split second, I almost give in to his touch, wanting to close my eyes and lean against him just to relish in his care. However, I resist the tempting