Breathe Me Smith and Belle (Royals Saga #11) - Geneva Lee Page 0,48

Clara down a few months ago. Or, and this was much more likely, I’d underestimated his capacity for sympathy. Why would he deny me the decision to protect my wife and child? It was the motivation that drove him entirely. Naturally, he understood my position. But having his blessing meant I no longer needed a professional cover. That left me at an impasse.

Still, I couldn’t help thinking I might be able to do some good. We didn’t need the money, but maybe that was the missing piece. I took a seat behind my desk and stared at it. I’d studied law because Hammond wanted me to study law, because my father had been in law. I’d been another weapon in Hammond’s arsenal, used to cover up the tracks of vice and criminal activity he needed to hide. I didn’t exactly have a passion for the law, exactly, but I was very, very good at what I did.

It’s why Hammond had walked for years free despite his crimes. I couldn’t quite forgive myself all the wrong I had done on his behalf as his personal legal counsel. Perhaps, I could ease some of my guilt, though. I could offer my services pro bono to people in the village who couldn’t afford legal representation. I could represent them to the town council or help them with custody or divorces or other small claims. I might actually be able to turn the sordid skills of my past into something valuable.

Or, I could stay home and fuck my wife.

I couldn’t help feeling my ideal life lay somewhere in between the two.

Not that Belle had shown any interest in me since Penny’s arrival. We’d been given strict orders by the doctor to wait at least six weeks before resuming sexual activity. One had to presume that the doctor had meant boring vanilla sex, and not the intimacy which we craved from one another. Or that we used to want.

I still wanted her, but maybe she had forgotten. Penny had only hit six weeks a few days ago. Belle was up with her every night and tired during the day. We’d only just brought Nora on to help. And Belle had said things—cruel things—about herself during that time. Maybe she was just waiting for me to initiate and prove I still desired her.

My balls ached as I considered how I might go about proving it, and I adjusted them in my trousers.

As much as I wanted my wife in every way, as much as I’d hungered to take her every day, this was new territory to me. When I first met Belle, she talked a big game about not sleeping with me. I played along with it, assuming the role of her boss. Back then, sex had been inevitable between us. In those days, tension lingered in the air like static before a thunderstorm. She’d wanted it all the time. I’d given it to her whenever possible. It was an understanding. Now? There was nothing. No sign or indication of interest on her part. I reasoned with myself that she was tired and still adjusting to being a mother, but that left me wondering what would happen if I walked into our bedroom, picked her up, and fucked her against the wall until she remembered who she belonged to.

I wanted to every time I saw her. In the morning, when I caught glimpses of her stepping into the shower. At night, when she slipped off her robe and slid between the sheets. Nothing had changed in that regard. Except that I seemed to want her even more. I even found myself considering another baby, ready to see her round with the life I’d given her again.

But like my desires for intimacy, I kept these thoughts to myself almost instinctively. I knew somehow that bringing up another baby or future children would make her cry. I couldn’t even allow myself to wonder if bringing up sex would do the same.

Because the truth was that I was more in love with my wife than ever before. But for the first time since we met, I wasn’t sure she would say the same about me.

My mobile vibrated, its ringtone muffled by my leather desk pad. I reached for it, grateful for the distraction from the depressing thoughts intruding on my afternoon. I frowned when I saw Georgia’s number flashing on the screen. She never called unless something was wrong. Considering the last time I had seen her, I’d asked