you go. I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you, or tried to call.”
I bowed my head and squeezed my eyes shut as words all but failed me.
“Am I too late? Is it too late?” he pleaded as I lifted my head to look at him.
“Too late for what?” I asked, willing myself not to cry. He’s here. My God, what does that mean that he’s here?
“For you. For us. Did I wait too long before coming here to apologize and tell you what a fool I was? And how sorry I am and that I don’t want to live without you?”
My body reacted favorably to his words, but my mind held out. I shifted on my feet, my internal parts at odds with one another.
I looked into his eyes. “I can’t trust you anymore. I want to, but I don’t.”
The hurt my words brought to his eyes pained me, but it did little to curb my sudden resolve. I had given Tatum my trust completely, and he’d tossed it right back at me. He hurt me when he discarded me like last night’s garbage.
His eyebrows pulled together as he clenched his jaw. “I know you don’t. But I’ll do whatever it takes to earn your trust back, Paige. I was an idiot. I didn’t mean any of it, you have to know that. I was so damned hurt, I couldn’t stop myself.”
“I know why you did it, but I don’t like that you did. This business I’m in,” I waved a hand at the throngs of press taking pictures from outside the windows, “it’s not easy, and I’m scared you’ll run when it gets ugly. And as you can see, it does get ugly.”
He took a step toward me, reaching out to grab my arms as he pulled me close. “I won’t run. I promise. I. Won’t. Run,” he gritted out, emphasizing each word.
“I don’t—” I pressed my lips together as I summoned more strength. “I don’t believe you.”
As the blood drained from his face and he loosened his grip on me, my stomach turned and rolled. It was hard to be this close to Tatum and not give in.
“I thought you might say that,” he said as he glanced down at the floor and swiped at his eyes.
It hurt to see him like this. My heart wanted to leap into his arms and tell him we’d work it all out and things would be fine, but my head refused to allow that. My mind continued to remind me that he pushed me away, told me to leave, handed me to Colin without a second glance.
Defense mechanism or not, that was something I didn’t need in my life. With all the inner strength I’d recently found, I needed the man in my life to be just as strong as me, if not stronger.
“Do you have any feelings for me at all?” he asked so softly, I almost didn’t hear him.
“This has nothing to do with how I feel about you.” I reached for his chin and tilted it up so he could look at me and recognize that I was hurting too. “Of course I have feelings for you. But you didn’t handle things well when Jayson and Colin showed up.”
He opened his mouth to interrupt, but I placed a finger on his lips to silence him. God, they were soft.
“I know why you did it. I know you didn’t mean the things you said. But dating me is hard, Tatum. It’s not easy being in the spotlight, or being with me, or around this lifestyle. There are things that happen constantly that I can’t control. I just don’t think it’s something you want to be involved in, but I don’t fault you for that. I just—” I stopped as the rest of my thoughts and words failed me.
“I screwed up, Paige. I know that. I knew the second you drove away that I’d never be the same again. I want to be with you.” He grabbed my hand, his thumb skating across my knuckles. “I know you don’t think I’m worth it, but I’ll show you that I am. I’ll prove it to you. I want you. I want this,” he said as he waved his other hand between us. “I want there to be an us, Paige. I get that you’re nervous, but I’m not going anywhere this time. I’m so in love with you.”
“What?” I coughed out.
He loves me? My heart jump-started inside my chest, battering