Breaking Stars - J. Sterling Page 0,9

a washcloth and splashed some water on my face to wipe away the tears that had left streak marks. Convinced it wouldn’t be the last time today that tears fell from my eyes, I washed away any remaining makeup from my skin and rinsed out the cloth.

After digging in my bag for two ibuprofen, I swallowed them and downed a full glass of water before walking back outside. Moving toward the lounge chair, I positioned myself and sat back down.

“How’s Mom?” Quinn chirped from her lounge chair without opening her eyes.

I sighed. “She’s sad for me. And worried. And wants to come over.”

“That’s normal. Moms want to fix everything for us. Bless their hearts.”

The wind whipped gently through my hair and I reached back, gathering it all in my hand before twisting it into a knot at the base of my head.

“Stacey’s getting ready to choose which college she wants to attend,” I said as my voice quivered.

“Oh no.”

“Oh no, what?” I asked.

“I know that tone. You get it every time you talk about someone from your hometown going off to college.” She rolled her eyes and glanced out toward the ocean.

“I know I do. I can’t help it.”

“I hate how much you want that life,” Quinn said softly, her tone filled with sadness.

“It’s crazy, right? That I’m jealous of my little sister when I’m one of the most sought-after actresses in the country.”

Quinn shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know how crazy it is. As long as I’ve known you, you’ve always missed out on having those normal, boring moments. It doesn’t surprise me that this whole college thing is springing back up.”

“It’s not boring,” I complained.

“I beg to differ.”

I laughed. “What do you even know about it? You’ve been an actress your entire life. You don’t even know what you’re missing,” I reminded her with a sigh.

“Bingo.” She placed a finger on her nose and pointed at me with her other hand. “And that’s the problem.”

Confused, I shaded my eyes with a hand and squinted at her. “Uh, what’s the problem?”

“You were basically ripped out of school and shut off from all your friends. You know what you’re missing because it was all taken away from you when you weren’t ready.”

I nodded because she was absolutely right. Sure, I loved acting, but looking back, I had no idea what I would be giving up. It all started for me when a scout approached me in the mall one day while I was shopping with a group of girlfriends. Completely typical, for sure, but that was how it happened. She handed me her business card and insisted I have my parents call her as soon as I got home. That led to a face-to-face meeting at her office in Beverly Hills, which led to my signing with her as my manager. Multiple acting classes followed, and a big-name talent agent signed me almost immediately. Apparently all of this was rather unheard of in this day and age, but they said I was a “natural” and that the camera loved me.

What had been normal for me quickly turned into anything but. My high school years were spent in makeshift classrooms on movie sets, and all my old friendships fell to the wayside. It wasn’t intentional, and it wasn’t even entirely my fault. My schedule was so busy it was hard to stay in contact with people, and all my old friends were doing their own thing as well. When we did talk, they were experiencing things I couldn’t relate to anymore, and vice versa. We no longer had much in common, which made conversations difficult and uncomfortable. Eventually I stopped talking to almost everyone from my old school.

At the time, I never regretted all the things I missed out on. But looking back at it now that I was twenty-one, and with everything Stacey was getting to do, I wished that I had accepted Daniel Mack’s invitation to prom. I could have never attended since I was on location filming a movie at the time, but I found myself longing for a sense of normalcy now more than ever.

I glanced over at Quinn. “I just don’t see what the big deal is. Why can’t I do what I want to do? I’m not saying I’m going to stay in college until I get a degree, but I’m not saying I won’t either. I don’t know, but I want to try. Why does everyone freak out when I mention it?”

Quinn lowered her