damn, if it didn’t feel like this was worse. Realistically I knew it wasn’t, but try telling that to my heart. And here I thought I had no heart left after my dad died and Brina left me.
Way to prove me wrong, heart. Now go screw yourself; you’ve done enough damage.
Paige walked back into the hallway, her things clearly packed and ready to go. She turned to look at me, her face twisted in some sort of pleading look that I couldn’t read for certain. Maybe she wanted me to save her and make them leave?
I didn’t know, so I stiffened my back, sucked in a breath, and knew this was going to hurt like hell. “Just go, Paige. We both knew this wasn’t a forever thing.”
“I know that, but…” She stumbled on her words as her voice broke, and nearly broke me with it.
She knew that?
I hardened my heart, then bit out, “It’s been fun.”
“It’s been fun?” Her face twisted as tears pooled in her eyes, and something inside me snapped.
“You’re a good time,” I said as coldly as I could.
“Is this a joke right now? It’s not funny.”
“No joke. I’m telling you to go. You should have never been here in the first place.”
“You don’t mean that.”
When she took a step toward me, I pulled back, knowing that if I let her touch me I’d be done for. I’d never let her leave if her fingers even grazed my skin. Ever.
“I do,” I lied.
“I know what you’re doing,” she whispered as tears spilled over her lashes, each one killing me a little more than the last. “You’re just acting tough, but you don’t mean it. You don’t, you can’t.”
Her words stabbed at me, but I had to make her leave and go back to where she belonged. Paige had never intended to stay in this town, and if for some crazy reason she convinced herself that she wanted to, she’d eventually resent me for it.
I couldn’t live with that. I had to make her think I wanted her gone, had to push her away. It was for her own good, and mine as well.
“I mean it, Paige. I want you to leave. You’ve been here long enough. Go back where the people actually miss you and care that you’re gone.”
She gasped as if I’d slapped her, and the sound nearly caused my knees to buckle. I was too good at being a dick, too well versed in being mean to her.
“I don’t believe you,” she whispered. “I know you feel what I feel.” Her eyes pleaded with me as she lifted a trembling hand to her heart.
“I don’t feel anything.” The words practically burned my tongue as I spit them out, my lies choking me from within.
“I know that’s not true.” She sucked in a gulp of air, and I wanted so badly to be her oxygen. “But I’ll go,” she added with a nod, then pushed back her shoulders with determination.
I watched as she hesitated before turning away from me and walking toward her car. Colin grabbed Paige’s things from her, his hand brushing against hers, and placed them in the trunk. My blood boiled as I witnessed the simple gesture. He ushered her to the driver’s door and opened it for her.
She slid into the front seat of her BMW and started the engine. Colin tried to get into the passenger side, but fumbled with the door. I wanted to cheer Paige on when I realized she’d locked it and refused to let him in. That was my girl.
My girl. And I was letting her go. Hell, making her go was more accurate.
She’s not my anything. Not anymore. Only an idiot would think she ever was.
Paige turned to me one last time, her eyes locking with mine before she dropped a pair of black sunglasses over them. The car’s tires spun as she pulled out and headed down the drive.
I followed behind, Buster tagging along with me, until she got to the main road and turned down it. When the taillights of her BMW faded out of view, I fell to my knees, the gravel from the road piercing the denim in my already ripped jeans.
How long does a man have to stay on his knees until a woman knows—innately knows—that he’s on them waiting for her?
Probably forever. And I deserved nothing less.
So I stood there like an asshole and watched her go, doing nothing. I never tried to stop her, begged her to stay, asked