Breaking Bro Code (The Line Up #4) - Misti Murphy Page 0,89

a camo pattern.

I didn’t even realize Hud had managed to land more hits than the one fist to my jaw, which is still tender and puffy, until the bruises started appearing.

I pour Crunch Berries into a bowl. Stir a little whisky into them. Stumble through my dark apartment to the couch. Put my bowl on the coffee table. Only I miss the edge and the bowl lands upside down on the floor, cereal and whisky spilling everywhere.

With a shrug I lift the bottle of Jack to my lips and drink. Here’s to you, you fucking idiot.

I drop onto the sofa. Tip my head back and close my eyes. Lily’s there when I do that though. Beautiful, a light in the fucking darkness, everything I’ve smiled over for so long until I told her to move to L.A. without me. I blink them open. She’s there too. Staring at me like I’m ripping the world out from under her feet.

I roll my head to the side and take in the empty space on the couch where two weeks ago she taunted me while we played video games. She’d dug her icy cold toes under my thigh and I’d wanted to tell her that I couldn’t imagine life without her in it.

“You don’t need to imagine it anymore, huh, fuckhead?” I take another swig from the bottle and put it with the empties littering the coffee table. Groan into my hands. My heart fucking hurts. Not even what happened with my own brother and Jessa was as painful as losing Lily is. Because I was never in love with Jessa. Infatuated, yes, but I am deep down, completely and utterly, and entirely too miserably in love with Lily Kelly.

I climb unsteadily to my feet. Pick up the Jack and take another shot. Trip over an empty that’s rolled across the floor. Go down like a sack of shit. I don’t bother getting up. I stare at the fucking rug while I blink back the wetness that’s starting to leak down the side of my nose. Fuck, I miss her so much already.

“So this is your lowest point, huh?” Cal’s voice comes from somewhere above me.

“Go away.”

“Can’t.” His feet come into view. A second later he crouches in front of me. “You’re a sorry piece of work, aren’t you?”

“How did you get into my apartment?”

“I got your spare key from Hud.”

“He didn’t want to come himself.” Of course he didn’t. I broke the damn bro code. We’re no longer friends.

“Time, my friend. Things will get better, you’ll see.”

“It doesn’t feel like it.” I flop on my back. “I love her, Cal. I fucking love her.”

“I know you do, pal.” He grips my shoulder and squeezes.

“It hurts.”

“I know.”

“I can’t move to L.A. for her, though.” I cover my face with my hands as my chest shakes with the welling emotion I can’t keep under control. It feels like I’m drowning without her. “I can’t ask her to stay here and give up her goals for me.”

“Why can’t you move to L.A?” he asks. “Is it because of Jessa? It sounded like you were still in love with this other girl when Lily asked you about her.”

I can’t help it. I laugh. I feel like I’m losing my whole damn mind. I’m gurgling with the laughter. Choking on it.

“What’s so funny?” he asks.

“Jessa’s my sister.”

“I thought Arwen was your sister,” he says slowly. “She’s the one I’ve met, right?”

“She is.” I’m a sealed bottle of Coke and all my little secrets are fucking Mentos. It only took losing Lily to shake me up enough for all these things I’ve kept deep down to bubble to the surface. It feels like poison, holding this shit in. Letting it out is terrifying but suddenly unstoppable.

“And isn’t Jessa marrying your brother?” The lines around his mouth and eyes deepen.

“Half-brother on my mother’s side.”

“Okay.” He doesn’t know what to say. He’s probably imagining my family as Game of Thrones characters.

I inhale and let my next words escape on that breath. “Jessa’s my dad’s illegitimate love child. They’re not related at all.”

“And you and…”

“We dated in high school.” I grimace. “And before you ask, no we never… My father at least had the decency to tell me about her before things got that far.”

“Christ.” He taps his fingertips against his mouth. “I’m assuming Hud doesn’t know about this and neither does Lily.”

“I haven’t told anyone,” I admit. “Ever.”

“Except me now.”

“I couldn’t.” I cover my face with my hands. “How do