Now suddenly you’re all concerned about being my friend? Are you kidding me?” I move past him and wrench open the back door, knocking into the bouquet of flowers with my shoulder and displacing more of the white and red petals.
“No, I’m not kidding. I promise you that I don’t find any of this remotely funny. Just please, stop walking away and talk to me for a minute,” he demands, grabbing me by the elbow.
I let go of the door, his hand on my arm halting my progress to step through. The heavy metal clangs shut behind me, trapping me. I pull my arm out of his grasp and spin on my heels to face him. I want to hit him. I want to slap him across the face and kick his shins and just, just…God! I stomp a heeled pump on the ground, place both hands against his hard chest, and push him with all my strength. Caught off guard by my attack, Tim stumbles backward and is barely able to maintain his balance. His charming smile and cool demeanor are immediately replaced by the annoyance I spotted earlier.
“What the hell are you doing?” he yells at me, throwing the bouquet of roses to the ground.
“I don’t want to do this anymore! You can’t just pop up whenever you want and confuse me with your fancy suits and your perfect tan! I won’t let you hurt me again.” My chest is rising and falling rapidly and my nails are digging into my palms. I’m readying for a fight.
“Ellie, calm down,” Tim says, hands up in defense as he walks slowly toward me. “I’m not going to hurt you. I never meant to hurt you. Please believe me.”
He closes in on me, the familiar scent of his cologne throwing a blanket over my anger, muffling it. His presence is overwhelming and I feel so weak, so helpless when he’s near. A few pathetic tears escape my eyes despite my struggle for control. All I need to do is not look at him, smell him, or feel him, and I should be able to hold out.
Tim places a hand against my cheek, making me jump. His thumb wipes away a tear at my temple before his fingers entangle my hair. He moves closer to me, his other hand going to my waist, pulling me to him. My traitorous body completely overrides my good sense, allowing him to place warm lips against my forehead. I can’t think, can’t come up with any reasons for wanting to put distance between us. My actions now are guided only by my physical response to him and by the shadows of happy memories dancing at the back of my mind. My hands, still balled into fists, go to his chest and give a half-hearted shove, my last attempt to defend myself against him.
“Stop fighting this, Ellie. Don’t you know how crazy I am about you?”
My eyes, half closed against the onslaught of Tim’s charms, fly open. He’s not the first man to say this to me today. Sam’s crazy about me too. I drag in a choppy breath and this time, I shove him away from me successfully. I wipe at my tears and bring my hair up and off my face with shaky hands. “I’m not doing this with you again,” I say, turning away from him, shutting him out. “I’m moving on.”
“Moving on? What does that mean?”
“It means I’m not interested in getting back together with a guy who cheated on me.”
“Oh God, this again? Ellie, you’ve got to get over that. It was just a momentary indiscretion. She doesn’t mean anything to me.”
“Yeah, you keep saying that.” I turn and pull the heavy back door open again, stepping one foot inside the building’s cool interior.
“Wait! Wait, just stop and give me a minute, okay?” Tim rushes to the door and places one hand above my head on the door frame, using the other to hold it open. I can see a thin sheen of sweat forming around his hairline. He looks disheveled, his demeanor rattled.
“Let me go,” I beg, grabbing the door and pulling it back toward me.
“No, I won’t let you go. Walking away from me is a huge mistake.”
“It was staying with you that was the mistake. Please, just leave me alone.”
I duck beneath him and move quickly, stepping inside the dark hallway. I grab the stair rail and pull my feet up step by step, away from him.