once loved someone else. That the man she’d loved has spent every day of his life regretting her.
I slide off my stool and back onto sore feet. I don’t want to interfere with Hart’s memories, so my questions about Sam and his ex will just have to wait.
“He’s not as tough as you might think,” he says, his gaze on Jo unwavering.
I look between them and the feeling of loss overwhelms me. “But that’s the problem,” I say, fighting for control. “I’m not tough either.”
“You’re tougher than you give yourself credit for, I reckon. Don’t waste your life wondering what if. Leave that to old fools like me.”
“But he won’t open up to me, tell me about his past, and I’m afraid,” I confess, tears stinging my eyes.
“Afraid of what?”
“Of what that means,” I whisper.
I sit back down on the stool and Hart turns to face me. “We all have a past, darlin’, and sometimes that past is better left forgotten.”
I look across the bar to Jo whose hands have stilled on the table, the cash deposit set in neat stacks before her. She looks between Hart and me, a tired smile on her face.
“You haven’t forgotten. Neither has she,” I say, looking back at Hart.
“And look where it’s gotten us. Is this where you want to be, Ellie? Sittin’ in a dark, stinky old bar, regretting your life?”
I suck in a breath, fear trickling inside me at his words. “Of course not.”
“There’re no guarantees when it comes to love. Sometimes it’s just about faith.”
“But isn’t faith built on trust? How do I know if I can trust him?” I ask, desperate for his answer.
“You got it backward, darlin’,” he states, facing the bar and his empty glass. “It’s faith that comes first. Trust is earned. Faith is given.”
His words feel like a slap in the face. “What if I haven’t got any to give?”
“Faith is always in great supply. It’ll be ready for you when you’re ready to give it.”
I don’t know if I’m as strong as Hart. Could I wait forty-two years just for the possibility of love? Would I be able to sacrifice everything to wait for it? I rise and place a hand on Hart’s arm. “Thank you for the conversation.”
Hart nods once in response, laying his forearms against the bar. He’s in no hurry to leave, and now I know why. I leave him and walk out the door, back into the brilliant sunshine. That Sam’s got a past should come as no surprise. I knew the first time I saw him he could be dangerous to me, and I jumped in anyway. I don’t know if I can trust him, I don’t know if I’m capable of trust anymore, but maybe I could afford to have a little faith in him. Maybe I could afford to have a little faith in myself.
Chapter 11
The repair shop is busy and noisy with lots of high-powered, whining tools. Sam’s crew is working on several cars lined up over the recessed work areas carved out in the garage floor. I half walk, half sneak, past the men and make my way toward the office where I hope to catch Sam alone. I’m not sure what I’m going to say to him, mostly because I’m still hyped-up from Hart’s speech. Should I ask him about his ex and if I do, should I tell him about kissing Tim as well? Should I tell him about my father and my other failed relationships? How much of the past should stay forgotten?
The office is empty but opening the door elicits a buzz as I step through, so I wait by the counter for someone to come and greet me. Unfortunately, that someone is Jason.
“Well, look who we got here! Miss Ellie herself and looking good enough to eat! Dang, girl! You trying to give ol’ Sam a heart attack in that dress?” Jason’s voice is rowdy, echoing through the sparsely decorated room.
I nervously flatten the fabric of my dress at one side, hoping to hide a bit of leg, and do my best to smile politely at Jason’s attempt at a compliment.
“Hi, Jason, how’re you?”
“Can’t complain. Been busy here, been busy out there,” he says, wiggling his furry eyebrows at me and patting his impressive belly. “Where’s that fine lookin’ roommate of yours at today? She pullin’ a shift at The Cavern?”
“She is indeed. I actually just came from there and I was hoping to catch Sam. Is he here?”