Break Me (Brayshaw High) - Meagan Brandy Page 0,98

school or wherever, to know they lived with darkness, too.” I look off. “Their eyes were a little dead, and I realized they didn’t have a brother like mine, someone to give them hope... a North Star to believe in, to... seek out for guidance when they felt lost.”

“So you gave them one.” Understanding, maybe a bit of realization, brings creases to his forehead. “You were strong for strangers. You helped them see there’s more. You were the hope to lost souls.”

An unexpected stir builds beneath my ribs, and I meet Captain’s gaze again.

“I tried.” My lips pull into a one-sided smile. “It was only words, a smile or someone to sit with at lunch, play with at recess.”

“And the idea of more, the possibility of hope not lost. You gave them something they could reach for in the dark if all they had was themselves and the sky above them. That’s a fucking lot, Brielle.”

“It wasn’t really,” I say quietly. “But it was all I had to offer.”

Captain nods, his expression tight, a richer sentiment flashing across him, one I have no idea how to read it’s so profound. “I know you could be happy here. Do you?”

“That’s all I wanted.”

Concern draws his brows together, and he inches closer. “Wanted?”

I open my mouth, but close it.

Why did I say wanted?

Do I not want that?

Do I want more?

Captain’s face grows serious. “I can see what’s happening, Brielle. We all can.”

Tension buds low in my stomach, seeking a place on the surface as the flowers in the garden before us.

“As far as what?”

His eyes cut across the place where Maddoc and Royce are waiting in a long line at a snack shack.

“He’s not easy to handle.” Captain’s tone is firm, but worry weighs heavy in his words. “He’s the toughest person I know. The bravest, boldest, but he’s... not easy to handle. He fucks up when he feels.”

I shift in the seat, my eyes sliding to Raven who sits only a space away, focused on us.

I look back to Captain. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because there’ll be a time when you need to remember it.”

Is that not what I’ve been doing?

Not that he’s aware.

Or maybe he is.

No secrets among them, right?

“You sound so sure, Captain.”

“That’s because I am.” His response is instant. “I need you to understand that what feels like the end, is always the beginning. It’s where he has to be pushed back, or he’ll get lost.”

He stares.

Maybell said the same thing, but hearing it from Captain, the words somehow hit harder.

When I finally force a nod, he nods back and walks away.

My head falls to the iron backing of the bench and I look up at the sky, trailing over the small line of clouds and focus on the shades around them, but even breathing in color isn’t working right now, as it always does.

Raven must sense it because she scoots into the space beside me.

“You know Captain’s right. Royce is tough. Too tough. The rest, it gets buried.” She shifts toward me. “When I first got here, I fucked-up their world, turned it upside down, all while having no idea I was doing it.”

I smile at her stomach and her hands come down to cover where my eyes touched. “I have a feeling they would describe your arrival a lot different.”

“That’s because they’re not normal.” She laughs, but quickly refocuses. “I won’t get into details, he can tell you all about it another time, but basically everything went to shit and quick. Victoria wasn’t with us yet. Me and Cap were held up in a hotel trying to find a way out of the mess we were in, but there was no answer we could come up with, so it went on and on. Maddoc... he left.” Her eyes hit mine. “Don’t think less of him, the situation was fucked and you have no idea what he had to sit back and try to accept. He didn’t want to leave... he had to.”

I hardly hear what she’s saying, I’m too focused on what’s behind her words.

Raven and Captain, they were held up.

Victoria wasn’t in the picture, and Maddoc, he was gone...

Royce was alone, or that’s how he felt.

“Exactly.”

Our eyes meet, and a solemnness covers hers.

“This is when my brother was helping you?”

She nods.

Jesus.

He really felt... left behind, every bit the lost boy.

“These boys, they’re so much the same, but Royce...” She trails off.

“You love him.”

She nods. “I love all three, but I love them differently. My