Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians(17)

“What?” I asked, jumping back slightly.

“Not you, lad,” Grandpa Smedry said with a sigh. “She means me.”

“What?” I asked. “What did you do?”

“Nothing much,” Grandpa Smedry said. “I just kind of left her behind. That’s Bastille, lad. She’s our team’s knight.”

If I’d had any sense, I’d have run away right then.

Chapter 5

At this point, perhaps you Hushlanders are beginning to doubt the truth of this narrative. You have seen several odd and inexplicable things happen. (Though, just as a warning, the story so far has actually been quite tame. Just wait until we get to the part with the talking dinosaurs.) Some readers might even think that I’m just making this story up. You might think that everything in this book is dreamy silliness.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

This book is serious. Terribly serious. Your skepticism results from a lifetime of training in the Librarians’ school system, where you were taught all kinds of lies. Indeed, you’d probably never even heard of the Smedrys, despite the fact that they are the most famous family of Oculators in the entire world. In most parts of the Free Kingdoms, being a Smedry is considered equivalent to being nobility.

(If you wish to perform a fun test, next time you are in history class, ask your teacher about the Smedrys. If your teacher is a Librarian spy, he or she will get red-faced and give you a detention. If, on the other hand, your teacher is innocent, he or she will simply be confused, then likely give you a detention.)

Remember, despite the fact that this book is being sold as a “fantasy” novel, you must take all of the things it says extremely seriously, as they are quite important, are in no way silly, and always make sense.

Rutabaga.

“That is a knight?” I asked, pointed at the silver-haired girl.

“Unfortunately,” Grandpa Smedry said.

“But she’s a girl!” I said.

“Yes,” Grandpa Smedry said. “and a very dangerous one, I might add. She was sent to protect me.”

“Sent?” I said. “Who sent her, then?” And is she supposed to protect from Librarians, or from yourself?

Bastille stalked right up to Grandpa Smedry, placed her hands on her hips, and glared at him. “I’d stab you with something if I didn’t know that you’d arrive too late to get hurt.”

“Bastille, my dear,” Grandpa Smedry said. “How pleasant. Of course I didn’t mean to leave you behind. You see, I was running late, and I needed to go – “

Bastille held up a hand to silence Grandpa, then glared at me. “Who is he?”

“My grandson,” Grandpa Smedry said. “Alcatraz.”

“Another Smedry?” she asked. “I have to try to protect four of you now?”

“Bastille, dear,” Grandpa Smedry said. “No need to get upset. He won’t be much trouble. Will you Alcatraz?”

“Uh… no,” I said. That was, of course, an absolute lie. But would you have said anything different?

Bastille narrowed her eyes. “Somehow I doubt that. What are you planning, old man?”

“Nothing to worry about,” Grandpa Smedry said. “Just a little infiltration.”

“Of?” Bastille asked.

“The downtown library,” Grandpa Smedry said, then smiled innocently.

“What?” Bastille said. “Honestly, can’t I even leave you alone for half a day? Shattering Glass! What would make you want to infiltrate that place?”

“They have the Sands of Rashid,” Grandpa Smedry said.