The Boyfriend Designer - Christopher Harlan Page 0,46
right, hot man wants to see me at his place.
I text Tori. It’s time for lunch soon. We need to talk.
Shoshana
“I was always bad with order of operations.”
This is the first time I remember not being hungry—maybe ever.
Tori always jokes that I’m too skinny, which I definitely am, but it’s a metabolism thing, I usually eat like a professional male athlete. Not today, though. Today I’m eating like someone who just got out of an eating disorder clinic, pushing cucumber and cherry tomatoes around a small plate and nibbling at the ends of a roll like a mouse. The smell and sight of food is nauseating at the moment.
“Jeez, you okay? You’re eating like you’re on a first date.”
“Uhhh,” I groan. “Please don’t mention first dates.”
“Don’t be dramatic. It couldn’t be that bad or you would’ve already told me about it.”
Okay, she doesn’t get it. Time to go all in.
“Tell me if I’m being too dramatic, okay? I’ll trust your judgement.”
“Go ahead.”
“Conor wanted to see me, but I made a vow to not give any time to douche bags who I’m attracted to. I’ve done that enough.”
“Agreed. And I’m with you so far. No problems yet.”
“That’s ‘cause I didn’t get the all the punchlines of the joke yet. But, what I didn’t tell you is that he’s been trying to DM me on and off since VidCon, but I stuck to my guns and didn’t answer him at all.”
“Good for you.”
“It didn’t matter, though. You know how guys like to think they’re the level-headed, rational ones, but if they go dramatic they can outdo any woman on earth?”
“Oh, 100%. Remember our friend in college whose boyfriend said he was going to jump off the roof of the boy’s dorm if she broke up with him?”
“I totally forgot about that lunatic. Well I found out what the less crazy YouTube influencer version of what ‘I’m-gonna-jump-off-the-roof’ looks like.”
“Oh no, what did Conor do?”
I tell her the story of how he sent his army to get me and pressure me to go out with him. She listens, but with every word I say her eyebrow gets a little higher, and the outrage on her face gets a little more pronounced.
“He did what?!”
“Yup.”
“And you told him to fuck off, right?”
Uh-oh. “Yeah, sure. If by ‘fuck off’ you mean I agreed to exactly what he wanted.”
“Shosh, no! Really?”
“What was I going to do? Go to war with him and his fans? He has a huge following.”
“But you’re saying you think this was all just because he likes you?”
“Or wants to have sex with me. Or both. It’s hard to separate those two things with guys sometimes.”
“Where did he take you?”
“The Museum of Sex.”
Tori nearly spits her water out. “Really? Could he be any less subtle?”
“Apparently not. But the weird thing is he didn’t try anything—not once.”
“Well at least it didn’t go too far.”
“Yeah, I kissed him,” I blurt out.
“You did what?”
“I kissed him. Unclench, it’s okay. That was it, one kiss. A little kiss at the end of the date—nothing we all haven’t done before.”
“You think that was a good idea?”
I roll my eyes. She’s such a pragmatist. “Not necessarily. Do you stop and evaluate whether it’s a good idea every time you kiss someone?”
“No,” she says, looking at me judgmentally. “I actually do that before I kiss someone.”
“I was always bad with order of operations. So confusing.”
“Stop joking. I’m not asking like I’m your big sister, I’m asking from a career standpoint. You don’t want to sleep around with other influencers—especially as a woman in this business and especially with someone who is more successful than you. It’ll be perceived like the modern version of sleeping your way to the top—only, instead of a corporate gig, it’ll be followers and subscriptions.”
I really never thought it of it like that.
At this point, it’s pretty obvious that I find Conor hot. What’s not so obvious is that I also like him. I never thought I’d say that after his ‘Smash or Pas’ video and that disastrous first time meeting him, but when he lets his guard down I’m seeing a whole new side of him. I never thought of whatever it is we’re doing as something that could be misconstrued as a career move, but Tori’s right.
“Never even thought of that part of it,” I tell her honestly.
“Of course you didn’t, because you’re not actually like that, but it doesn’t mean that other people won’t see it that way. I’m not telling you what to do