The Boy Who Has No Hope (Soulless #6) - Victoria Quinn Page 0,19
was the last time you had one?”
Derek looked away, as if the question made him uncomfortable. “This isn’t relevant.”
“Your answer makes it relevant.”
He rubbed his jawline again. “Ten years ago.”
He hadn’t had a meaningful relationship with anyone in ten years? I hadn’t either…and it was ironic.
“And what happened in that relationship?” Dr. Collins asked.
Derek didn’t answer. “Ever since I can remember, I’ve wanted to be in the stars. My initial ambition was to be an astronaut. That was my goal. But the older I became, the more grades I skipped, the higher my scores went, I realized that my mind should be used more effectively, which was why I decided to work behind the scenes and send people to the stars instead of going there myself.” His hands came together in his lap. “It was my dream to work at NASA, and when I left graduate school, it was my first job. I designed a new rocket, took me years to develop it from an idea to a working piece of machinery. But when it was scheduled to launch, I discovered an error. I tried everything I could to stop that rocket from launching, but…” Derek didn’t finish the story. All he did was shake his head and fall silent, like he didn’t have the heart to give the ending.
Dr. Collins was quiet, giving him the opportunity to finish. When Derek didn’t, he spoke again. “It was Odyssey 3, wasn’t it?”
Derek didn’t look at him. All he did was give a slight nod.
Dr. Collins spent his time staring at Derek, like silence was better than words.
Derek absorbed the silence a long time. “That’s why I’m such a hard-ass now, with my employees and my students. Because errors cost lives, and you shouldn’t be in this business unless you can make sure errors don’t happen.” His chin rested against his knuckles, and he stared at the floor.
“Did you do everything you could to stop it?”
Derek’s eyes shifted back to his, and slowly, emotion filled his gaze. “I warned my boss a dozen times. Then I went to the director. And then I went to the astronauts…and that was when they fired me.” He inhaled a deep breath, and when he released it, it was loud and shaky.
“That sounds like a yes.”
He closed his eyes, and a single tear ran down his cheek. “But I built that fucking rocket…” His voice came out as a whisper, so quiet that we wouldn’t have been able to hear him if there were any other sounds in the penthouse.
It was hard to see him like this, to see someone so good carry so much pain. He was the best person I’d ever met, a man who believed in preserving lives instead of saving money. For someone who hated people, he cared about them more than everyone else. I moved closer to him and rested my hand on his arm, just so he would know that I was there, that he wasn’t alone, that I would carry whatever weight he would allow me.
Dr. Collins kept his eyes on Derek. “You found the problem and raised your concerns to every person possible. It doesn’t matter if you built the rocket. You did everything in your power to stop it. It’s an industry with a lot of risks, and when someone who actually designed the rocket has concerns and you fail to listen, then you aren’t taking your job seriously. The astronauts were warned but chose to risk it anyway. The only person to blame is the director, who could have paused the launch to investigate your claims. Dr. Hamilton, this isn’t your fault, and I’m not saying that because you’re paying me to. It’s easier said than done, but you should let it go. You’re carrying the weight of the dead, a weight that belongs on someone else’s shoulders.”
Derek stayed quiet, his body pivoted away so he didn’t have to look at either of us.
“You may have built the rocket, but you also found the error. If someone else had taken your claims seriously, all of this would have been avoided. That’s concrete fact, Dr. Hamilton. Whenever you feel overwhelmed by those memories, remind yourself of what actually happened rather than your emotional response to that tragic day. You did everything you could to stop it, lost your job over it, and that didn’t stop you from trying. If you ask me, you did a lot more than most people would dare.”