quite a few friends, I haven’t given any consideration to visiting so soon. Sometimes it feels like I’m still trying to acclimate to life at Wesley. Not to mention, I’ll be graduating this spring. I need to get my act together and figure out a plan for the future.
And then there’s Colton. At every turn, he’s there, pushing me, refusing to back off. He’s gradually taken over more and more of my headspace.
Jack must see the flicker of emotion as it crosses my face. He gives me a considering look before asking lightly, “The lad from the hall, is he a friend?”
And there it is.
The dreaded question.
Heat suffuses my cheeks.
Jack knows all about Colton. The good, the bad, and the heartbreaking. Perhaps I shouldn’t have been quite so truthful with him, but it had been important to work through all the crap in my head, and Jack had been a willing listener. Plus, I’d wanted him to understand that I couldn’t move forward with a new relationship when I was hung up on a different one.
I blow out a steady breath, unsure where to begin.
His voice softens as he searches my eyes. “Come on then, is it really that bad?”
Ha! He doesn’t have a clue. But that’s only because I’ve been reluctant to divulge the details since I’ve returned to Wesley. I know Jack is holding out hope that with enough time, there will come a point when I’m ready to move on. And when that happens, it’ll be with him.
“Friend might be overstating our relationship,” I say lightly. “That was Colton.”
His brows arch. “Ahhh.”
That one-word response says it all.
I snort. “Exactly.”
He shifts on the couch as understanding floods his features. “Do you want to talk about it?”
My heart constricts almost painfully as I jerk my shoulders. Of course, that would be Jack’s response. There is no sign of anger, jealousy, or even disappointment.
Only concern. It makes me feel even worse about the situation. Why couldn’t I have fallen head over heels for this guy?
He really is perfect. Kind and considerate. I’ve never had to guess where I stood with him. He let me know from the very beginning.
“No matter what happens,” he says softly, “I’ll always be here for you.”
It takes effort to blink the wetness from my eyes. Before I realize it, I’m flying out of the chair and hurtling myself at him. As soon as I land against Jack’s chest, he wraps his arms around me and holds me close. I squeeze my eyes tight as the citrusy scent of his aftershave soothes my senses.
When he presses his lips against my hair, I lift my face until our gazes can lock. One hand rises, the blunt tips of his fingers settling under my chin before tilting it upward until our mouths are able to align. The caress is a light sweep, but it’s more than enough.
Enough to know that he will never stir the kind of emotion that Colton does. Jack is a safe port in a storm, but he’s not the man I long for. He doesn’t send my pulse skittering or put my body into overdrive.
He is steady and calm. And I’m probably the biggest idiot in the world for not giving him a real chance and exploring the possibilities.
But I can’t. It wouldn’t be fair to Jack. He deserves a woman who is head over heels in love with him, and that’s not me.
How can it be when I already feel that way about someone else?
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Colton
“Dude, what the hell is up with you?” Beck mutters, barely glancing away from the seventy-inch television and the campaign he’s intent on winning.
“Nothing.” I swing around, pacing to the other side of the living room.
He snorts but stays laser-focused on the video game unfolding on the screen. Gunfire erupts from the surround sound in a burst of noise. “Whatever you say, man. Just remember that we have practice today at three.”
Fuck.
My head is much too full of Alyssa and the British prick that came out of nowhere for me to concentrate on anything else. I might as well plant my ass on the bench now because it’s doubtful I’ll see the playing field anytime soon.
Here’s the way I see my day unfolding—I’ll stew about Alyssa for a couple of hours, head to practice, more than likely fumble a few plays, get my ass chewed out again by coach, and end it all by berating myself for letting go of the one girl I ever cared about.