had to declare it out in the open before.” He shrugs. “If you’re doing something stupid because you’re afraid you’re like Dad—”
“I’m nothing like Dad.”
“No, you’re not. That’s the whole point.” He turns toward the sinking red sun, this wizened look on his face that’s totally unlike my dumpster fire of a brother.
I stare at him. Waiting.
“What point, Nick?” I growl impatiently.
“You don’t have to throw people you care about away to protect them. You’re not our parents.”
“The whole thing was a contract, a show, and I didn’t throw anyone away.”
Technically, it was worse. Paige left the moment she found out who I really am.
“She ran because she heard what you said.”
“Because it’s breaking news that I’m a cold-hearted freak? Did you forget the part where she locked us on the balcony and I had to kick my own door out?”
“Man, if any girl I was with pulled that shit, I’d call someone with a key. Not bust out a door I’d have to replace.”
I roll my eyes. “The only other moron with a key was there.”
“Dude, I said I was sorry.” He gives me a sheepish look. “Hard to remember I had your backup key in my pocket when there was so much commotion. What did you say when you apologized?”
“What makes you think I apologized?”
“You said you didn’t want her to blow the cover on the NDA, but we both know why you really went after her. What did you say, Ward?”
For a moment, I’m silent, having a staring contest with the sun.
“What else? That I was sorry for the way it ended. I didn’t want things to implode like they did, and I thought we should still finish the contract. She didn’t want to hear it.”
“She almost kicked you in the balls. You got off lucky.” He laughs like the eternal knucklehead he is.
“I offered to pay her anyhow, you know. Even when she was hell-bent on leaving.”
He looks at me slowly.
“How did that go?”
“She threw her ring and almost decapitated me with a look. I didn’t see that coming. I told her when I gave it to her it was a gift, and she could keep it once this was over. I thought she’d sell it.”
“She might’ve been serious about the restraining order after all. I’m starting to get why you’ve only ever had a couple girlfriends,” he says, scratching his jaw.
I glare at him.
“I have no desire to fuck my way through half the city like you, idiot.”
“I know. You were engaged to your last girl, but Paige is the first chick you’ve lost sleep over in years.”
“I haven’t lost sleep over her,” I hurl back.
He lets out a long huff that says he’s entirely done with my shit.
“I’ve known you for thirty years. You’re a dick when you’re angry and an even bigger one when you’re tired. Don’t try to lie to me. You’ve been unbearable since it happened,” he growls, wagging a finger in my face.
I chop his wrist down, annoyed that we’re still bickering like we’re ten years old. He brings out the worst in me—or maybe he’s right and it’s not his dumb antics at all.
“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kick your ass into the ocean right now, Nick.”
“Because we don’t have an assistant anymore and you need me. Reese doesn’t do coffee runs. Also, Grandma’s still on vacation, and you can’t afford for me to be out in a coma.”
He can take his good reasons and shove them somewhere darker than this sunny beach.
“Any word on when HR might get us some fresh blood, anyway?” he asks.
“Susan posted the job. When enough applications come through, we’ll start interviews.”
Those simple, mundane words shouldn’t taste like a toilet brush. But they do, and it’s all because she’s lodged in my brain, the woman I can never replace in a billion interviews.
The green-eyed pearl I lost who saw meaning in my stars, and now with nobody there to see them, my whole world is getting dimmer, colder, and it’s about to hitch a karma ride to hell.
This has to be the very definition of self-destruction, but here we go.
It has to be done.
Winthrope’s going to find out the truth sooner or later with Paige gone, and it’s better coming from me. There’s also no denying it’s the right thing to do.
With a double shot gulp of brandy, I set the glass on the desk and begin my confession.
Dear Mr. Winthrope,
You’ve been so kind to my family that this email is