Bossing the Cowboy (Circle B Ranch #4) - Kennedy Fox Page 0,54

trying to sort through this in my head.

He licks his lips and swallows hard. “I didn’t want to. I had to. Because if I didn’t, all I’d think about is kissing you. I may be an asshole, but I’m not selfish. I wasn’t about to let how I felt ruin your future. You needed a boss, a mentor, and a teacher, and I couldn’t be those things if all I thought about was having an inappropriate relationship with you.” He inhales sharply, then continues, “But regardless of my efforts, I never stopped wondering what it’d be like. And that pissed me off. It fueled my frustration, and that turned to anger. So I apologize for being an asshole, but trust me, it was the only way.”

“I don’t accept that,” I blurt out.

“Excuse me?” His brows rise in confusion.

“I don’t accept that treating me like shit was the only way to deal with your feelings. You took the easy way out.”

He scoffs, charging closer until my back presses against the truck.

“The easy way out?” he barks, then tilts my chin up. “You really think it was easy? Pfft. You have no clue then.”

I force his grip away. “You could’ve tried to have an actual conversation with me and told me the truth.”

“Oh, just like that, huh?” He puts space between us and folds his arms over his chest. “And what do you think you would’ve said in response?”

I stand taller, ready to pour my secrets out to this undeserving bastard. “I would’ve said I understood because I felt the same, and at work, we should be professional, but off the clock…” I hesitate, watching his steady eyes on me. “Off the clock, it wouldn’t be a problem. We’re adults and should be able to communicate honestly. As long as we set boundaries, there’s no reason we couldn’t date outside of the office.”

My chest rises and falls. I just admitted his feelings weren’t one-sided, and he hasn’t said a word in return. Before I can beg him to respond, headlights come into view, and I know it’s Gavin with a trailer.

“I don’t think I can watch them load her up like a piece of meat,” I say softly.

“You don’t have to. Sit in the back of my truck.”

I nod, and he opens up the door. I dip inside and turn away so I can’t see. The tears don’t fall again, though my head and heart are in disarray. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around what Connor said—admitting his feelings and how he’s tried to ignore them, the same way I’ve always denied wanting him too.

Twenty minutes pass, and Connor opens the door. “Are you hungry?” he asks. “I was gonna make a late dinner.”

If my growling stomach is any indication, I’m starving.

But I’m too emotionally unsettled to eat. “Yes, but I don’t have an appetite.”

“Alright. Wanna join me up front? I’ll take you home so you don’t have to drive the side-by-side in the dark.”

I move to the passenger seat. After a moment, he starts the engine and heads toward my house.

“Will you tell Olivia?” I ask when the awkward silence lingers on too long.

His knuckles tighten around the steering wheel, and I feel bad for mentioning it.

“Probably,” he finally responds. “She’ll most likely ask about her the next time she FaceTimes me, and I can’t lie.”

“Will you tell her I’m sorry, please?” I turn and look at him though I can’t see much in the dark. “She’s going to be so sad.”

“She will be.”

“When she comes back, I’ll introduce her to another horse and give her another lesson. Let her know that. It might help ease the blow.”

“What are we doing, Elizabeth?”

I furrow my brows. “I know you aren’t used to this, but it’s called having a conversation.”

He glares at me before focusing back on the road. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Actually, I really don’t. You’re a puzzle I can’t seem to figure out. In fact, it drives me crazy. Just when I think I have the right pieces, they no longer fit together.”

With a sharp swerve, Connor slams on his brakes, then jerks the truck into park.

He turns toward me. “I confessed how I really felt about you.”

“And I told you how I felt,” I remind him.

“I’ve held back for over three years because I had to. Not because I wanted to,” he confirms.

I lick my lips as my mind wanders. “Wish I could say the same. You gave me no inclination of those feelings, and