was gone. When he disappeared past the branches and vines, I said to Zelda, "There are fifteen different things we should talk about right now but I'd very much prefer to kiss you again. Would you allow that?"
Zelda locked her arms around my neck. "That depends. Will those fifteen things drive you crazy and distract you while you're kissing me?"
I dropped my hands to her thighs, gripping the thin fabric of her skirt. I had to grit my teeth to keep from ripping it, instead really edging it up as I spoke. "There's nothing in the world that could distract me from you. Not a single thing has distracted me from you since you sat down and started hollering at me, and that's the rock-solid truth. My mother could come out here and whack me with a rolled-up gossip magazine. My father could launch into another lecture about my priorities. Hell, currency as we know it could end and I'd just want you to bite my lip one more time."
"Why now?"
"Because I've figured out you're something I need," I replied helplessly. "And I think I might be something you need too."
She sucked in a breath and I didn't miss the watery shine in her eyes before she buried her face in my shoulder.
"Are those good tears? Like, He finally did something right and didn't fuck it all up tears? Or hurt tears?" I asked.
She shook her head and I assumed—risky as that was—she was saying no to the latter.
"If they aren't hurt tears, tell me I can kiss you again. If that's what you want."
Zelda kept her head in the crook of my shoulder long enough to start me wondering whether I'd gotten it wrong, whether I'd miscalculated everything. She lifted her head and looked up at me with unshed tears pooled in her eyes and it seemed certain I'd fucked it all up.
"Are you going to change your mind later?" she asked.
I dropped her skirt because the only clear, direct instinct I could find among the clutter of lust and stress and hunger was to wrap my arms around her and hold her tight enough to feel her heart pounding against me. And, yes, perhaps rocking my shaft into her belly would relieve the throbbing ache there. "What are you asking, love?"
"I want to know if you're going to want me when it's convenient and push me away when you remember you're the boss and I'm—"
"No, I'm not doing that again. I hate that I've done it more than once, hate that I've done it at all. I've tried pushing you away and in case it wasn't clear, I missed you too much every time I did it. It was a shoddy attempt at trying to keep all the out-of-control pieces of my life in order."
"If you shared some of those pieces maybe they wouldn't feel out of control anymore," she said.
"As you've noticed, I'm not great at that," I admitted. Zelda laughed, sudden and bright, and I walked her backward until she was wedged between me and the first available tree. "And maybe you've also noticed I'm obsessed with you, you adorable evil genius."
"You don't have to say that because we kissed. What I do I need is for you to stop throwing me away when your thoughts get the better of you."
"I said it because I meant it," I replied. "And just so you know, you're never inconvenient. The rest of the damn world is inconvenient and you…you are not that."
She tipped her chin up as her lips curled into a playful grin. "That's a funny way of saying you don't know what to think of me."
I think I could fall in love with you.
I didn't say it out loud but as I studied her mismatched eyes and the strands of blue woven through her dark hair, I wondered where those words came from. I'd never spoken them to a romantic partner before, never came close to it. Yet every time Zelda asked me for some confirmation of my intentions, a promise to be less of a jackass where she was concerned, I responded with more certainty and affection than I believed I possessed. I leaned into it. I took another step on shaky ground because I'd already blown up my relationship with my father and my world was a fresh mess and I wanted her. That was it—I wanted Zelda in every possible way, for as long as possible. And here, with her back against the