I'll figure the rest out myself. Unless, of course, you don't want me in your email. Which is also fine. I can start with your calendar. Are you a Google Calendar kind of kid or are you all iCal? While many things about you do scream 'Outlook!' I doubt that's your preference. Right? Where are you at with this, Ashville?" When she turned, my laptop bag in hand, she tracked my gaze to her backside. "Yes?" she asked, laughing.
"Do you have, you know"—still staring, I scratched the back of my neck—"office clothes?"
"Sure do," she replied. "Should I change now? Is that the ludicrous thing you need at this moment?"
Goddamn, I wanted to rub my face against that ass and I knew I'd never in my life thought that before. Not a single time ever had I wanted anything like that.
"Nope," I answered, moving toward her. I grabbed my laptop from the bag, opened it, and banged out my password. "All yours. Email is open." I backed away, moving toward my bedroom. "Go ahead and remove those job postings, if you don't mind."
She glanced up from the screen, her lips parted. "You don't want to leave them open? In case—"
"The position is filled," I said, closing the bedroom door behind me.
I marched into the adjoining bathroom and flipped on the shower. Stripping while the room filled with steam, I realized another reason I required the use of both hands: one to flatten against the shower wall while I jerked off.
Before stepping into the shower, I hadn't given much thought to erections. I mean, I'd thought about them in the sense I noticed when my dick was hard and when it wasn't. But I'd never contemplated the erections I'd racked up in my life. Certainly never compared them.
There was no need to compare them, not when my dick was as predictable as the rest of my life. Most of the time, I was good for a respectable length and girth that jutted straight out. If you didn't have a protractor, you could use my shaft to find a right angle.
But this—the monster throbbing against my belly button—more closely resembled a flexing forearm than any erection I'd ever experienced. It was a personal best. I was going to remember this one.
Another thing I was going to remember? The amount of rueful regret I felt over using my hand on an erection of this quality. It deserved better than a shower jerk-off. If I could've swapped out this one the way I swapped good ties with better ties when I had important meetings, that would've been amazing. Put this one in the back of the closet on a special hanger and save it for a long night, a soft bed, a warm, wet woman who felt like joy and looked like a miscalculation, one with a half dozen earrings and stripes of blue hair and—
"Oh my fucking god," I choked.
Heat blasted through me like an electrocution. Honestly, this fucking hurt. My spine arched, my abs trembled, my arm burned as if I'd done more than take my cock in hand. I couldn't see anything, couldn't hear anything. The only sense at my disposal was feel and the only thing I could feel was my blood hammering in my veins. The water pounded my skin and my breath rasped out of me and my entire body shuddered as my orgasm painted the tiles.
Since I was now in the business of comparison, I couldn't help but note I hadn't come like a cannon blast…ever. I stared at the streaks on the shower wall as I panted, my chest still heaving. I'd never done this before. I was always so careful about coming in my hand or angling toward the drain.
I'd never done any of this before.
"Ash? Ash! What happened? Are you all right?"
The door flew open and bounced off the wall and the force sent it slamming back in Zelda's face. It would've been funny if it hadn't made my balls hum and my cock spurt once more. She pushed it open again, this time keeping a hand locked on the handle.
"I heard a crash," she said, her eyes wide and alarmed. "Are you okay? What happened?"
I glanced down at the bottles of shampoo and conditioner gathered around my feet. Soap and body wash too. I didn't know when I'd knocked them over. It didn't matter.
"I'm fine," I croaked.
Her hand twisted on the knob and I saw the exact moment she realized this shower was a