Born Savages - Cora Brent Page 0,84

happen next time I’m getting it on with some other girl? Instead of being all pumped up about what’s in front of me I’ll just be comparing her to Ren Savage.

I’ve got to get past this. I’ve got to replace her with something else, anything else.

Yup, I’ll get right on that as soon as I finish kneeling here on the creek bank and punching the clown with my hand while I fantasize about fucking her.

I had her down. I had her conquered. I had her begging for sweet release and willing to get busy in seventeen filthy ways. And even as it stings the edges of my heart a little I can’t stop thinking about it.

When I’m done, I rinse off in the creek and zip my pants up, feeling guilty as a fourteen year old kid who’s dicking around with himself in the bathroom while his mother screeches from down the hall that dinner is ready. For a while I just sit on a wide rock, listening to the water and trying to remember details about one single other girl that I’ve dated or fucked or just had a cup of goddamn coffee with.

And that’s the problem with trying to replace Ren. That’s always been the problem.

In spite of everything, I don’t want to replace her. I can’t.

When I get back to the campground it sounds like a street festival and smells like burnt hot dogs. Sleep may not be on the table tonight. I figure I’ll just make do with the granola I’d picked up at the store and keep to myself. If the spirit of masochism takes over I can check my phone and see what kind of damage I missed over the last few days. I haven’t touched base with Brock in over a week. It might not be a bad idea to let someone know where the hell I am. It’s a pretty safe bet I have about sixty-eight voicemails from Gary and friends reminding me of contracts and other failures. Sooner or later I’ll call him back. Maybe tomorrow. I’ll tell him I’m done answering questions and that I’m not going to interfere with whatever they decide to do with the footage.

I’d forgotten all about Steve and his promise of steak until he yells good-naturedly that I ought to come on over.

Steve blinks the smoke away and offers me a plate. “I took a guess that you’re a man who likes his dinner well done.”

“You guessed right,” I say and confess that once I’ve got the juicy rib eye under my nose I’m suddenly hungry as a bear.

Steve’s wife, Michele, perches on a footstool and eats daintily while asking me polite questions. The boys, who I have started thinking of as Aden 1 and Aden 2, toast marshmallows and make charming messes of their faces until Michele sighs and escorts them to the campground bathroom to get cleaned up.

“You’re not here with any friends?” Steve asks, blotting his dripping chin with a paper napkin.

“Nope. I tend to travel alone.”

Steve doesn’t say anything and I wonder if he’s having second thoughts about inviting some sketchy loner to hang out with his family. He doesn’t let on if anything’s bothering him though. He just starts gathering trash in a plastic bag while I chew my steak.

“First time at the Canyon?” he asks.

“No. You?”

“Drove up here once before, years ago. Day trip. Asked a girl to marry me that day.” He pauses and smiles wistfully at the memory.

“I hope she said yes.”

“She did. I’ve got the boxy minivan to prove it.”

“We should all be so lucky. I just lost my girl.”

What in the god almighty hell made me say that??

Steve is looking at me now. I wonder if he drugged my steak with some sort of suburban truth serum. That doesn’t make any sense though. Especially because what I said isn’t even the truth. Ren hasn’t been ‘my girl’ for a long time. The shit that happened between us during my brief Atlantis intrusion sure can’t count as a relationship. I’m just dehydrated or something.

Michele returns with the two boys, who are now dragging their feet like they are in the throes of a sugar crash. She stands behind Steve’s chair, rests her soft hands on his shoulders and gives him a quick kiss on the cheek. “I’d better get these two rascals off to bed.”

“I’ll be inside in a little while,” he tells her and she blows him a kiss before disappearing behind the tent flaps