Born Savages - Cora Brent Page 0,61
in the way.
She’s his now. She always will be.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
REN
I was always a miserable performer. Lita was forever scheduling screen tests during pilot season in Hollywood, that brief period when all the new shows are looking for their casts and would-be actors from across the nation camp out in seedy Boulevard motels hoping to catch a break. I never got any callbacks.
“Loren does not project.”
“Loren is uniformly expressionless.”
“Loren fails to occupy space with confidence.”
It didn’t take long for Lita to give up on me. Monty and Spencer wanted nothing to do with any of it, but Brigitte and Ava were willing so I guiltily thanked the greater powers for giving me some sisters my mother could exploit.
Speaking of sisters, Brigitte’s been avoiding me ever since I cough cough ‘assaulted’ her in the kitchen. I can only guess what kind of sobbing show she’s putting on for her private Blue Room interviews. I’m not going to ask. If I want to know I’ll find out when the show airs, just like everyone else.
As far as Ava goes, she knows I’m rattled. She always waits until the crew is gone for the night before pulling me aside and asking if I ‘want to talk about i..
I do not.
I do not want to talk about Oscar. No, not Oscar, Oz.
I do not want to talk about the contemptuous look in his eyes or the crass things that came out of his mouth or the way I had to bite the inside of my cheek to try to stop the trembling that threatened to devour me.
I do not want to talk about how every sexually deprived nerve ending in my body begged to be handled by him right there on the dirty floor of the barn.
I do not want to talk about how maybe if I fucked Oz – the man who was once Oscar - in the filthiest way possible I could get rid of it all. Maybe all it would take is ten minutes of animal humping to silence five years worth of grief for what we had, for what we lost. It must have killed some part of him too. I saw it in his face the night he walked away. Once I proved myself to be a coward I was nothing to him.
“Ren?”
A hesitant knock on the door, a soft voice. Ava.
“Ren?”
“Ren’s not here,” I mumble and pull the pillow over my face. I don’t know what time it is. The sun is fairly high and the room grows hotter every minute. I’m sure I could find something more useful to do than lie in a bed of self-pity.
But I’ve made my own bed. Now I should be forced to lie in it.
I cackle to myself over the metaphorical non-humor of the situation. I think I’m losing my marbles, one marble at a time. By this time next month they will have all leaked out.
“Can I come in?”
I fling the covers off and unlock the door. Ava cracks it open slowly and pokes her head inside. She looks around with worried confusion, like she’s crossed an unfriendly international border. She needs to do something about her roots. I can see the red peeking through.
“Hi,” I wave.
“Hey.”
She smiles. Ava has the most amazing smile. When Ava smiles you feel like the sun has just shined directly on you.
“What time is it?”
“Nearly ten.”
“Shit. I forgot I told Spencer I’d help him with some chores. On second thought though, I’d probably just get in his way.”
Ava chews her lip. “I saw Oz heading out with Spence pretty early.”
“Oh. Oz.” Defeat. Anger. Lust.
“Anyway,” Ava continues as if an elephant hasn’t just entered the room and stands there, swaying his bulbous trunk and blinking at us. “I was hoping you wouldn’t mind watching Alden for a few hours. Bree asked if I would go with her to the Western Edge Stables. Apparently she’s signed us up for a roping class.”
“A groping class?”
“Shush, you heard me. The photo crew was here early in this morning. Even if Monty wasn’t doing that ridiculous photo shoot today I couldn’t ask him and I’d rather not drag the baby out when there’s nothing for him to do there.”
“Hold on, hold on.” Jesus, a girl can’t even sleep in for a few hours without all kinds of crazy news erupting. “Ava, you know I’ll gladly look after Alden anytime so don’t even worry about it. Now who is here? And Monty is doing what exactly?”
“I told you yesterday. Photographer from