the first time in his life, he had a friend. At least that was how he liked to think of her.
It was so good to finally have something to look forward to. Better yet, someone who made him laugh when he felt like utter shit. She even sent him little things at the barracks. Fruit, and a stuffed bear with her perfume on it that had gotten him endlessly mocked.
And it’d been so worth it. Granted, he had to keep it in his locker. Still…
Someone, other than his mother, cared for him. He’d always wondered what that would feel like. This was so much better than any fantasy he’d ever had.
Don’t be stupid, Talyn. She doesn’t love you. You pay her for her kindness.
An arm and an effing leg, every month.
But it didn’t feel that way. When he looked into her eyes, he saw…
What? Love?
You’re an idiot.
He glanced out the window as painful reality racked him. Was he really that desperate to have a female care for him that he’d lie to himself so completely?
Yes.
Closing his eyes, he forced himself to face the harsh truth. She didn’t care beyond what her contract stipulated. How could she? They didn’t know each other. Not really. And unlike him, she could have anyone she wanted.
She could even marry one day. Have a family. But if she ever became pregnant from his seed, it’d mean at least ten years of his life would be spent in prison. It was why most agencies wouldn’t accept a bastard’s application for a companion, at all. Hers was one of the few without a huge banner warning his kind up front not to waste time applying. For that matter, most whorehouses wouldn’t even allow a lack-Vest entry, and they were charged double for services, and only permitted to sleep with the older prostitutes who’d been sterilized.
What can you offer her?
Absolutely nothing. He’d be lucky if she renewed their contract at the end of his probation. Why should she? He barely saw her. Almost never spoke directly to her, except through sparse, sporadic texts. They’d been contracted for over six weeks and had yet to sleep together. What companion would want so little contact with her patron?
His throat tightened as he faced a bitter reality. He was shite and that’s all he’d ever be. Wife, family, companionship? Those were only dreams for a mongrel dog who lacked lineage.
He swiped the screen to the last picture she’d sent over. Her long, curly hair was fanned out around her face as she lay in bed, looking up at her link. Her brows were perfectly arched over her silvery-white eyes. And her lips were slightly parted so that he could see just the tiniest bit of her fangs.
While her breasts were small, her bra pushed them up and made his mouth water for a taste. Something that wasn’t helped by the sight of her taut nipples peeking through the lace.
Maybe one day he’d actually be able to see them.
Grinding his teeth, he squeezed his eyes shut and turned off the link. There was no need in thinking about what could be. About things he could never have. He had to think about the here and now.
And the miserable hell that was waiting for him once he returned to base.
Chapter 5
Felicia glanced around the gym that was filled with fighters who were training and talking. As soon as she spotted Erix by an open area, she headed toward him.
“Hi.”
His fierce scowl melted into a friendly smile as he looked up from the screen of his link to see her. “Tara Felicia. What brings you here?”
She turned around to show him her white, flowered backpack. “I have Talyn’s dinner and was going to watch him practice. Did I get the wrong time?”
He shook his head. “He must be running late from patrol. It happens sometimes. So how are you today?”
“Doing well. You?”
He looked past her shoulder and frowned again.
She turned to see Talyn, who was moving very stiffly. He wore that stern I’m-going-to-kill-you-and-hide-your-body-so-get-out-of-my-way expression that made everyone scurry at his approach. Worried, she closed the distance between them.
He offered her a bashful smile as soon as he saw her. She adored the way his entire face lit up whenever she was near. Every time he did that, he made her feel so incredibly special and welcome.
“Hey.”
Worried about how he was moving, she frowned at him. “Are you all right?”
Talyn nodded before he placed a chaste kiss to her cheek. Pulling back, he met Erix’s