Born in Blood Collection Volume 1 - Cora Reilly Page 0,370

out of control.”

“I meant it, Romero,” I said in a small voice. “I love you.”

He was quiet, and I realized he couldn’t, he wouldn’t say it back. “You shouldn’t. We don’t have a future, Lily.”

My heart ached from his words. I didn’t want to believe them to be true. “You don’t know that.”

“You’re right,” Romero said eventually but it was to appease me. He kissed my temple again and then neither of us said anything.

* * *

Romero acted a bit more hesitant around me the next couple of days but it only deepened my resolve. Mother had died with longing in her eyes and regret on her lips. This wasn’t how I wanted to end. I didn’t want to have a pile of “what-ifs” and “how could it have been” in my head during the last hours of my existence. I wanted to look back and not wonder how wonderful life could have been. I wanted Romero. I wanted Romero to be my first, wanted to share everything with him. Right in this moment, I wanted nothing more, and I knew that even if I’d come to regret it, that regret could never be as torturous as the one I’d feel if I didn’t do it, the one where I’d always be left wondering how it would be to become one with the person I loved. Sometimes you had to risk something to live, and Romero was a risk I was willing to take. That was all I could think about as I relished the last few moments of my orgasm.

Romero climbed up my body and brushed a kiss across my lips. He was about to lie down beside me, as he always did after he’d taken care of me, but I held onto his shoulders. “I don’t want to stop tonight.”

He became very still. His dark eyes traced every contour of my face as if he was hoping for a hint of regret somewhere, but I knew he wouldn’t find any. I’d spent too many nights longing and wondering and wishing, and tonight I’d finally get what I wanted. Of course, I needed Romero’s cooperation but I had a feeling he wouldn’t refuse me. He was dutiful and responsible, but he was also a man, and he wanted me. I could see it in his eyes, and his erection pressed up against my hip bone was a pretty good indicator as well. “Lily,” Romero rasped, then cleared his throat. I had to stifle a smile. “That’s something that can’t be undone. Everything we’ve done so far is easy to hide, but beyond this point, there are ways to prove our…transgressions.”

I laughed softly. “Transgressions?” I lifted my head and kissed him. “How can this be wrong?” Of course, I knew that Father and many other people in our world could have written a novel on all the ways it was wrong, but I didn’t care. There was no part in me that thought what we were doing was wrong, and that was all that mattered.

“We discussed this already. I shouldn’t do this. For God’s sake, I made a promise to Luca to protect you. How is ruining your life protecting you?”

“You aren’t ruining my life. I want this, doesn’t that count for anything?”

“Of course it does.”

I pressed myself against him and grasped his cock through his boxers. “I want you. Only you. I want you to be my first.” I wanted him to be my only one. “Don’t you want to be my first?” I said in a small voice, regarding him through my lashes.

Romero exhaled a tortured laugh and kissed the corner of my mouth, then my cheek before his eyes burned into mine again. “You know how much I want you. I can hardly think of anything else but I should resist temptation. I’m bound to the Famiglia, to my oath.”

“Sleeping with me won’t break your oath.”

Romero cupped my cheeks. “Luca ordered me to stay away from you, and I haven’t done it. Luca will see it as disobedience, and that’s breaking my oath.”

“I am the one who should decide if I want you to stay away or not. It’s my body, my life.”

“You know it’s not that easy,” he murmured, eyes so full of emotion my chest constricted with need and love.

I curled my fingers tighter around his erection. “I know but I don’t care. And I know that you want me despite it all.”

He released a harsh breath, then let out a quiet laugh. “You’ve got