The Bookstore on the Beach - Brenda Novak Page 0,40

up.

I didn’t ask. That’s none of my business.

I was hoping it might become your business.

“In what way?” she mumbled to herself but typed a question mark to keep it simple.

I’d like to ask you out, so I thought you should know.

Sliding her computer onto the bed, she jumped up and began pacing in front of the window. Did he really just come right out and say that? She couldn’t date him. She couldn’t date anyone—but especially him. She’d wanted him too badly before, was afraid all of that desire and admiration would come rushing back and catch her up in something she couldn’t control.

Besides, she wasn’t ready to start seeing other men. Nick’s rain boots were still in the corner of the room!

She took several deep breaths in an attempt to calm down. By the time she’d managed to do so and returned to her computer, he’d written her again.

Was I too direct? Did I scare you away?

Yes! She was terrified of him. Well, not of him, exactly. Of her. Just seeing him in the bookstore had reminded her of that day in the tree house. All these years later, she could still remember the incredible smell of him, the way he kissed, the warmth of his hand as he touched her breast, the feel of his body against hers.

Of course she would remember those things. That was the first time she’d ever made love, and instead of being the terrible, painful experience she’d heard it would be, it’d been wonderful. Not pleasurable in the way sex was pleasurable for her as an adult, of course. But it had definitely been satisfying, if only because she was finally able to touch the object of her desire, the boy she’d craved for months.

The weird thing was that she was beginning to want him again. Obviously, it had been too long since she’d been with a man. But she didn’t need an old crush, someone she’d been sexually attracted to from day 1, getting in the way of her recovery, especially because she was no longer a teenager. She couldn’t imagine what Tay and Caden would think if she was to start seeing someone. She hadn’t even considered dating, but if she was going to start, the least she could do was wait until they were both in college.

I’m not available. But thank you for the offer.

I’m sorry if I ever hurt you, Autumn. I feel bad that you felt the need to apologize to me when I shouldn’t have let it go that far in the first place.

That’s a generous thing to say, but I don’t remember giving you much choice, she wrote back and added a laughing emoji.

I could’ve stopped if I’d wanted to. I knew your first time should be different, better. But that’s just it. I didn’t want to stop. It was selfish of me.

She didn’t blame him—she never had.

We were kids. I say we agree to forgive and forget. We both have a lot more to worry about than what happened that day.

True, but...

What?

What if I can’t forget?

Although her heart jumped into her throat, Autumn immediately started talking herself down. He had to be lonely. That was the only reason he’d said what he did. Being stabbed by his wife and then dealing with his mother’s diagnosis and treatment would be tough for anyone.

He was probably looking for a way out, something he could do to make himself feel better, even if it was only temporary, and thought she’d go right back to bed with him.

The thought crossed her mind that they could use each other. She was certainly missing sexual contact. But getting involved with Quinn, especially in that way, would only lead to trouble. Getting over Nick was going to be hard enough. Why allow herself to fall into a rebound relationship?

You’ve been through a lot, but it’ll get easier, with time. Did you know that Melissa Cunningham is back in town?

Yes. She’s opened a nail salon here. I’ve seen her around.

Well? Did he like what he saw? Autumn wasn’t quite sure how to state what she was thinking, so she was still trying to work it out when he wrote What does that have to do with anything?

I hear she’s divorced. I’m just letting you know that there are other options.

You think I wanted to ask you out because I didn’t know there are other women out there?

She’d offended him, but she hadn’t intended to. She’d been trying to offer him a good substitute