The Book of Doom - By Barry Hutchison Page 0,40

his skin and flesh flayed from his bones by the—”

Zac raised his hands, cutting her off. “Yeah. I was joking.”

Herya considered this. “Oh, right. I wasn’t.”

“I guessed that. So, how do we find Argus?”

The Valkyrie’s gaze was sweeping like a spotlight across the room. There were a number of doors dotted along the walls. “He’ll be on one of the higher floors.”

“OK. So how do we get there?”

“Through one of those doors, I think.”

“You think? I thought you knew this guy?”

“I do,” Herya insisted. “But it’s not like I track his every movement. One of these doors will lead us to him.”

“That one,” said Zac, pointing to a door set in the furthest corner of the club. He shoved past her and took to the steps leading down to the dance floor.

Herya was at his back almost immediately. “You’re a mortal. How can you possibly know which door it is?”

“Because it says Staff Only on it. And because it’s the only one being guarded,” replied Zac, not looking back. He pushed through the crowds, avoiding arms and legs, and heads and tails, and other appendages he’d never seen the likes of before – and which he sincerely hoped he’d never see again.

Some of the dancers looked like demons. Not Angelo-grade demons, but demons all the same. The majority of them thrashed around and clawed at the air, as if re-enacting their favourite scenes from The Exorcist. Some of the others played air guitar, their faces contorted in concentration, their clawed fingers flying across an imaginary fretboard, joyfully oblivious to the fact that the pounding dance beat contained no whiff of guitar whatsoever.

There were other shapes in the crowd too. Something ogre-like with a dog’s head. Something that looked to be part lion, part bird. In the middle of the dance floor a woman with a brown paper bag over her head gyrated along to the music’s beat. Snakes wriggled up through holes in the top of the bag, and Zac realised she must be a Gorgon. He and Herya pushed on through the crowd until they reached the door and the man standing before it.

And he was a man, or close at least. He had exactly the right number of arms and legs and heads. Granted, he had one more mouth than was strictly necessary, but after everything he’d seen of late, Zac wasn’t about to quibble over that.

The man wore a black bomber jacket and jeans that looked far too tight. His head was shaved and his arms were folded across his chest. He wasn’t particularly big, but everything about him gave the impression that he was precisely big enough.

His two mouths sat one above the other. Both appeared perfectly normal, and if Zac just squinted a little, he was reassuringly human-looking.

“What do you want?” demanded the man’s top mouth. His bottom one was chewing gum, like it was up against the clock.

“We... we want to see Argus,” Herya said. The music was quieter away from the speakers, and she was able to talk at something like her normal volume.

The bouncer looked her up and down. His bottom mouth continued its frantic chewing. “Do you now?”

“Yes. So I’d advise you to let us through,” the Valkyrie continued. She thought for a moment, then gave her knuckles a menacing crack.

“Would you now?” asked the bottom mouth, in a voice slightly higher than the first.

Herya hesitated. “Yes.”

“Right,” the man said, the top mouth taking control again. He stepped to the side. “Well, you’d best go through, then.”

Another hesitation. “What?” Herya glanced at Zac, then rallied a little. “I mean, yes. Right.” She reached for the door, but the bouncer was back in front of her, both mouths grinning.

“Nah, only joking.” His expression turned serious. “No one sees Mr Argus.”

“It’s important,” Zac said.

“Oh. Right. Is it?” asked the bottom mouth. The bouncer stepped aside once again. “Well, in that case maybe you had better go through, then.”

“Yes, well... I should think so too,” Herya said. She was midway through grabbing for the handle when the man blocked her again.

“Joking again,” said the top mouth. “No one sees Mr Argus. I thought I’d made that clear?”

“You did,” confirmed the bottom mouth.

“Thanks,” replied the top.

“Look,” said Herya firmly. “Get out of the way or I’ll... I’ll... kick your ass.”

The bouncer laughed. “You know why I got these two mouths? It’s so I can eat twice as quick.” All four sets of teeth snapped the air just a few centimetres from Herya’s nose. “Now fly