appeared to put her at ease. She stepped away from her grandmother and said to him quietly, "We got to go through the kitchen to get to the garden. The dog might bark, but she's quite nice." And she took him outside.
Meredith was sitting on a lounge chair in the only shade there was, on the far side of a garden shed. The rest of the area was given over to rose bushes, and they filled the air with a fragrance so intense that Robbie imagined he could feel it move like a silk scarf against his skin.
"Mummy," Cammie called as she led him along a gravel path. "Are you still resting like you're meant to? Are you asleep? Cos there's someone to see you."
Meredith wasn't asleep. She had been drawing, Robbie saw. She had a large sketch pad spread on her knees and she'd used coloured pencils upon it. She'd created squares of patterns, he saw. Fabric designs, he reckoned. She still held on to her original dream. At the side of the lounge chair lay Gordon Jossie's dog. Tess raised her head, then lowered it to her paws. Her tail swished twice on the ground in greeting.
Meredith closed her sketch pad and set it to one side. She said, "Why, hullo, Rob." And as Cammie made to climb into her lap, she said, "Not yet, darling. Still a bit too much for me,"
but she moved to one side and patted the seat.
Cammie managed to squeeze in next to her, squirming round to make her little bottom fit the space. Meredith smiled, rolled her eyes at Robbie, but kissed the top of her daughter's head.
"She was worried," she said in explanation, nodding at the little girl. "I've never been in hospital before, far as she's concerned. Didn't know what to think."
He wondered what Meredith's daughter had been told about what had happened to her mother on Gordon Jossie's holding that day. Very little, he expected. She didn't need to know.
He said, with a nod at the golden retriever, "How'd you come by her?"
"I asked Mum to fetch her. It seemed like ...poor thing. I couldn't bear the thought ...you know."
"Aye. Good for you, that, Merry." He looked round and spied a wooden folding chair leaning against the garden shed. He said to Meredith, "Mind if I ... ?" with a gesture towards it.
She said, colouring, "Oh, of course. I'm sorry. Do sit. Don't know what I was ...Only, it's quite nice to see you, Rob. I'm glad you've come. They told me at the hospital you'd phoned."
"I wanted to see were you coping," he said.
"Oh, I was that." She touched her fingers to the bandage on her neck, doubtless a much smaller one than what she'd had wrapping her wound originally. The gesture seemed an unconscious one to him, but it was apparently not because she said with a humourless laugh,
"Well, I'll look like Frankenstein's wife when this comes off, I s'pose."
"Who's that?" Cammie asked her.
"Frankenstein's wife? Just someone from a story," Meredith said.
"Means she'll have a bit of a scar," Robbie told her. "It'll give her distinction, that will."
"What's distinction?"
"Something making one person look different from everyone else," Robbie said.
"Oh," Cammie said. "Like you. You look different. I never saw anyone looks like you."
"Cammie!" Meredith cried, aghast. Her hand went down automatically to cover her daughter's mouth.
"'T's all right," Robbie said although he felt himself go red in the face. "Not like I don't know that - "
"But, Mummy ..." Cammie had wiggled from beneath her mother's grasp. "He does look different. Cos his - "
"Camille! Stop that this instant!"
Silence at that. Into it, cars from the road in front of the house swooshed by, a dog barked, Tess lifted her head and growled, the motor of a lawn mower sputtered. Suffer the little children, Robbie thought bleakly. Didn't they always tell the truth.
He felt all thumbs and elbows then. He might as well have been a two-headed bull. He looked round and wondered how long he had to remain in the garden in order not to seem rude by running off at once.
Meredith said in a low voice, "I'm that sorry, Rob. She doesn't mean anything by it."
He managed a chuckle. "Well, it's not like she's saying something we don't all know, is it, Cammie." He offered the little girl a smile.
"Still and all," Meredith said. "Cammie, you know better than that."
Cammie looked up at her mother, then back at Rob. She frowned. Then she said quite reasonably, "But I never ever saw two colours of eyes before, Mummy. Did you?"
Meredith's lips parted. Then closed. Then she rested her head against the back of her chair. She said, "Oh Lord." And then to Cammie, "Only once before, Cam. You're completely right." She looked away.
And Robbie saw, to his surprise, that Meredith was deeply embarrassed. Not by her daughter, however, but by her own reaction, by what she'd assumed. Yet all she had done was reach the same conclusion that he himself had reached, hearing Cammie's words: He was truly ugly and all three of them knew it, but only two of them had thought the matter worthy of comment.
He sought a way to smooth the moment. But he could come up with nothing that didn't draw further attention to it, so he finally just said to the little girl, "So it's hedgehogs, is it, Cammie?"
She said, not illogically, "What's hedgehogs?"
"I mean what you're liking. Hedgehogs? That's it? What about ponies? D'you like ponies as well?"
Cammie looked up at her mother, as if to see if she was meant to answer or to hold her tongue. Meredith looked down at her, fondled her rumpled hair, and nodded. "How do you feel about ponies?" she asked her.
"I like 'em best when they're babies," Cammie said frankly. "But I know I'm not meant to get too close."
"Why's that?" Robbie asked her.
"Cos they're skittish."
"What's that mean, then?"
"Means they're ..." Cammie's brow wrinkled as she thought about this. "Means they're scared easy. An' if they're scared easy, you've got to be careful. Mummy says you always've got to be careful round anyone scares too easy."
"Why?"
"Oh, cos they misunderstand, I expect. Sort of ...like if you move too fast round them, they c'n think the wrong thing about you. So you got to be quiet and you got to be still. Or move real slow. Or something like that." She wriggled round again, the better to look up at her mother's face. "That's right, isn't it, Mummy? That's what you do?"
"That's exactly right," Meredith said. "Very good, Cam. You take care when you know something's scared." She kissed the top of her daughter's head. She didn't look at Rob.
Then there seemed to be nothing else to say. Or at least that was what Robbie Hastings told himself. He decided he had done his duty and, all things considered, it was time for him to leave. He stirred on his chair. He said, "So ...," just as Meredith said, "Rob ..."
Their eyes met. He felt himself colouring once again, but he saw that she, too, was red in the face.
She said, "Cammie, darling. Will you ask Gran if her lemon cake's ready? I'd like a piece and I expect you would as well, hmm?"
"Oh yes," Cammie said. "I love lemon cake, Mummy." She clambered out of the lounge chair and ran off, calling to her grandmother. In a moment, a door slammed shut behind her.
Rob slapped his hands on his thighs. Clearly, she'd given the signal for him to take himself off. He said, "Well. Dead happy you're all right now, Merry."
She said, "Ta." And then, "Funny, that, Rob."
He hesitated. "What?"
"No one else calls me Merry. No one ever has but you."
He didn't know what to say to this. He didn't know what to make of it either.
"I quite like it," she said. "Makes me feel special."
"You are," he said. "Special, that is."
"You, too, Rob. You always have been."
Here was the moment. He saw it clearly, more clearly than he'd seen anything ever. Her voice was quiet and she hadn't moved an inch, but he felt her nearness and, feeling this, he also felt the air go dead cold round him.
He cleared his throat.
She didn't speak.
Then on the roof of the garden shed, a bird's feet skittered.
He finally said, "Merry," as she herself said, "Will you stay for a piece of lemon cake with me, Rob?"
And ultimately, he saw, the reply was simple. "I will," he replied. "I'd like that very much."