Tell me what you know about Elaine. Not the marriage part, but before. Who is she? Where did she come from? What’s her background? You’re going to need a private detective to get the goods on her in order to have a fighting chance. I know a guy, and when I tell you he is good, he is good. We use him all the time. He can find stuff you would never believe could come to light. I can call him for you and bill it to the firm. No sweat there. And you can use one of our lawyers. I know just the one, too. She is hell on wheels. You need a female lawyer, because she’ll know how your wife thinks. She’s tops. She’s on my payroll, just like the detective, so don’t worry about that, either. You can stay at my place as long as you want. I’m leaving for Hong Kong tomorrow and will be gone six months. And you can bring Wilson with you. Built-in maid service, gardener, and you can drive one of my cars. I’m serious, Gus. I can’t go off and leave you in the mess you’re in. We’re friends, remember? You’d do it for me, so just say yes, and let’s shake on it.”
“Barney . . . I . . . Yeah, okay, thanks. I’ll pay you back, you know that.”
“Hey, who’s the guy who loaned me his last three thousand dollars to start up my own business? I never even paid you back because, jerk that you are, you wouldn’t take it. Just so you know, Mr. Smart-Ass, I started a fund for you with some of that three grand, and someday I’m going to tell you what you are really worth financially. And there’s no way that person you were married to can ever get near it. Whatever happens with that person, your future is secure, my friend.”
Gus’s eyes started to burn. All he could do was nod.
The blackberry pie and ice cream arrived, again, without being ordered. Gus ate while Barney sent text messages that went through at the speed of light. He smacked his hands together before he dug his fork into the pie. “They’re on it, and you are now officially represented, my friend. Let’s finish up here, get all your stuff, and take it out to my house. Then I’m going to go and plead your case with Granny. You okay with that?”
Gus nodded again, not trusting himself to speak. He knew he was in good hands with Barney’s people. It still didn’t make him feel better.
The bill paid, the two friends left the restaurant. It was starting to drizzle, and the day had turned as gray and gloomy as Gus felt. He looked at the yellow Beetle and groaned.
“I have an idea, Gus. Get in that hunk of junk and drive it to the first fireplug you see and park it. Let the cops tow it and have Miss Elaine fight with the town over it. I think—and this is just a suggestion—but I think you should park it as close to the police station as you can. And, when you get out, wipe off all your fingerprints, just to be on the safe side. It is registered in her name, right?” Gus nodded.
“You won’t need it anymore, so that’s one less thing on your list to worry about. My detectives will find where your car is, and they’ll heist it for you. Since the car is in your name, there is nothing she can do about it. Unless you were dumb enough to put that in her name, too. Were you?”
“No, I didn’t put her name on it. But I have to be honest with you, I did think about it; the business, too. She was harping on me about that, last fall, but I just didn’t get around to it.”
Barney laughed as he climbed behind the wheel of a snappy Mercedes-Benz. “I’ll follow you, and, Gus, you’re in good hands now.”
Two hours later, Barney’s car was loaded with all of Gus’s belongings. After a forty-minute drive, they set about unloading the car at Barney’s place. Gus was never sure what to call Barney’s digs. Was it an estate? A minicastle? A palace fit for a king named Barney? Barney said it was just a house to sleep in that happened to have a six-car garage, with a high-end car in each bay. A house that sat on five pristine, manicured acres, which