little. Dad told me to talk to Papa. Papa said the subject for you, was like a scab, and I needed to leave it alone and let you heal. Mater said in her typically shady way, “Every man is entitled to his secrets, however deep and dark they may be.”
Of course, that only made me more curious.
One night when Valentina’s parents were out of town, and we were kicking it in her backyard, I started thinking about Orlando and the pain in your eyes when you spoke of him. The strange connection I felt to him. I’d been drinking and was feeling pretty sentimental—Valentina called me a weepy drunk—and I couldn’t stop talking to her about you.
“You should call him,” she said. She knew I was moony over you. Or something. She didn’t know we were brothers. We didn’t really talk about it as a family. I’d always assumed it was because of Mater and our bloodline. Just another aspect of my identity I needed to keep hidden. To everyone else, you were a family friend, though Valentina had commented more than once that it was weird how much time we spent together. Was it weird?
“Right now?” I asked her. It was pretty late, probably past your bedtime.
“Yeah, why not? You keep talking about him. Just give him a call. Say what’s up.”
Like most things when I was tipsy, it seemed like a good idea at the time. You answered immediately, and the roughness of your voice made it sound like you’d been sleeping. Naked? I scolded myself for thinking about you like that. What the hell?
“Vincent,” you said. “Is everything all right?”
“Yeah, yeah, I just…” Just what? Wanted to hear your voice, wanted a hug, wanted to crawl into your lap and have you hold me. I was too old for that, though, wasn’t I? Why did I crave your affection so badly? Why did your smile and laugh make me happy like nothing else? My obsession with you… it wasn’t normal.
“I wanted to make sure we were still on for tomorrow,” I said.
“Yes, of course. Do you need to adjust our plans?” You sounded worried. You never cancelled on me, and you were very punctual, even with Miami traffic.
“No, I was just…” Missing you. I used to be able to say it so easily. Why were those words getting caught in my throat now? “I was just looking at the weather, and there might be some thunderstorms coming in from the east. Because of the tropical depression forming in the Caribbean. They haven’t named it yet, which is good. I love summer but I really hate hurricane season.”
Jesus Christ, I mimed to Val, who was grinning at my rambling.
“Vincent.”
“Yes?” Kill me, please.
“Have you been drinking?”
“What? Nooo… well… maybe a little.”
Shit, now I’d done it. What if you called my parents?
“Where are you now?”
“I’m at Valentina’s. Listen, though, I’ve got to go. I just wanted to make sure we were on for tomorrow, and we are, so, awesome. Adios.” I ended the call and stuffed my phone between my knees. Meanwhile, Valentina was busting a gut at my awkwardness.
“Val,” I huffed. “Why would you tell me to do that? That was, like, the worst idea, ever.”
“Aye, pobrecito. You should have seen your face. Hurricane season? Why would you even bring that up?”
“I was nervous.” But why should I be nervous with you? We talked all the time, even on the phone. Ugh, I hoped things wouldn’t be weird tomorrow. Whatever. I’d just act like I didn’t remember.
Val’s cousin Junior came by then with his friends and asked if we wanted to smoke. It seemed like a good idea, so Junior rolled a blunt, and we went around the side of Val’s house where her nosy neighbors wouldn’t see us. I was just taking my first hit when your voice rumbled like thunder from right behind me.
“Vincent.”
I fumbled the blunt, and Junior went diving into the grass to rescue it like it was a newborn baby. I spun around to find you looking huge and intimidating with your back blocking out the porch light and your hair framed by the golden haze.
“Holy shit.” My heart was racing. “You’re here.”
“Who are these people?” You quickly sized up Junior and his friends.
“It’s fine. You know Val, and this is her cousin Junior. We were just… um… yeah, we were smoking pot. Don’t tell Dad, okay?”
You surveyed Junior and his friends again like you were mentally assessing their threat potential. It was in