As he spoke the words, he realized they were the dead honest truth. And sometimes, to have faith in yourself, you had to have someone light that path for you. He’d learned that from the Brothers. From his fellow trainees.
“I thought you were going to want to me to stay home,” she whispered.
“And then you would fail your sister, right?”
Her eyes shimmered with tears. “I’m already having so much trouble with living with guilt. Adding to what I’m carrying right now by giving up on finding Isobel’s killer? I can’t fathom it.”
“Makes sense to me.” Boone shook his head as he considered his own past. “Look, I’ve seen what the glymera turns females into. I’ve lived in that nightmare. I wouldn’t want someone lording over me—why would I think you’d want that? As I said, provided it’s medically safe, I have no right to turn you into a piece of furniture just because you’re pregnant—nor would I want to.”
The softening started in her eyes, the hostile, separating light dimming. Then her features relaxed, followed by her shoulders and the arms she’d crossed over her chest.
“Thank you,” she said.
“I’m just speaking the truth as I know it.” He so wanted to pull her into his arms, but stayed where he was. “And I request only one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“Next time, just ask me what I think instead of dub my opinion in with what you hope isn’t true. I promise, I will always be honest, and maybe you won’t like some of my positions on things, but at least we’ll be arguing over real differences instead of hypothetical ones.”
Helania took a deep breath. “Do you remember when you took me to Remi’s?”
“That was like, three nights ago,” he said with a short laugh. “So yes, I do. Although even if it were three years prior, I can assure you I would remember every second of being with you.”
Helania flushed, and the color was lovely on her face.
“When I told you I’m not good at this”—she motioned between them—“I really was being truthful. I can’t relate well to people.”
Boone shrugged. “Is anyone good at it, though? Especially if attraction’s involved.”
“I don’t know. Craeg and Paradise seemed totally in lockstep.”
“Oh, my God, see, you’re catching them now. They had a huge amount of conflict in the beginning.”
“Really?”
“Yup. And hey, you could ask them about it, but they probably wouldn’t get the story right. True love, when it clicks, is the great eraser. All the conflict and work to get a relationship up off the ground just disappears when people hit smooth sailing.” Boone shrugged again. “But what do I know.”
Falling quiet, he let his head ease back on the rest and closed his eyes. He was nowhere close to drifting off, but maybe she’d figure he was sleeping—
Helania’s hand snuck into his own.
And the instant she made the contact, he looked over at her. She, too, had laid her head back, and her breathing was even and slow. But she wasn’t asleep, either.
He knew this because as he squeezed her palm . . . she moved her head over in his direction and then leaned against the outside of his shoulder.
“Helania?” he said softly.
“Hmm?”
“Just so you know, you don’t have to be good at relationships with me. Be yourself. I’ll be myself, and as long as we keep talking? We should be okay.”
Her lids opened, her lashes raising up to reveal a light in her eyes that he had never seen before. “I would really like us to do that.”
“Talk some more?” he murmured as he brushed a stray hair out of her face.
“Be okay,” she said softly. “I would really like us . . . to be okay.”
Helania dozed as they traveled, going in and out of a light sleep. It was a relief to have no dreams. She was frightened of what might come out of her subconscious. But at least she felt as though the air had been cleared to some degree with Boone.
When a series of stops and goes began, she sat up from where she’d leaned against him.
“Are we getting close?’ she said.
Boone shifted around in his seat. “Yes.”
Helania cracked her neck and stretched her arms. “So this is where you go for training.”
“Yes, it is. The facility is pretty hardcore. They have everything.”
“Well, it is the Brotherhood’s.”
She was aware that they were chitchatting, avoiding a relapse into any emotional depths. Still, she felt a lot better after having spoken her worst fear out loud, and she marveled