His voice was rough, and as he came in the room, she braced herself for an onslaught of painful desire.
“I think so.” When her body didn’t grind in on itself, she exhaled. “I’m a lot better. Where is . . .”
“Doc Jane? She had to go to the clinic. But I told her I’d call her back immediately if you needed anything.”
Helania tried to sit up, and when the world spun, she debated letting that idea go. But as her equilibrium returned, she tucked the sheets around her naked body and shoved her hair out of her face.
“What time is it?” she asked.
“Four o’clock.”
“In the afternoon? It only lasted three hours?”
“In the morning.”
“Oh.”
Boone sat on the bed carefully, as if he were trying not to put all his weight on the mattress. As they stared at each other, she felt the opposite from what the previous night at Remi’s had been like with him: Instead of him being unusually easy to talk to, now she was tongue-tied worse than ever.
But she had to speak. “I’m so sorry.”
He recoiled. “For what? You didn’t have any control over any part of it.”
Okay, so that was technically true. But as soon as she thought of what Boone had looked like, drugged on the floor in front of her sofa, she still felt responsible.
Helania stared him right in the eye. “It is important for me to say this and for you to hear it. I did not know my needing was coming. If I had, I would have sent you away or not even let you in. You need to believe me.”
“Helania, I totally believe you—”
“Do you?”
Boone shook his head in confusion. “Where is this coming from?
I’ve never doubted you about anything.”
Exhaustion made her more candid than she would have been otherwise. “I just want to make sure you know I’m not trying to force you into a mating or anything.”
“Whoa . . .” He leaned forward, as if he might be able to understand her better if they were closer together physically. “Why would I ever think that?”
“You’re a member of the glymera and have money. I don’t want you to think I’m looking for a free ride.”
“Are you—do you remember the conversation we had last night? About how I might be poor and I asked you whether that would be a problem?”
God, he was right, she thought. Her brain . . . nothing was working right up there. And yet it was still a good point to be clear on.
“I just think things need to be said out loud.”
Boone steepled his hands and rested his chin on the tips of his fingers. “Fair enough.”
They sat in awkward silence for a time, and all she could think about was how she wished the night before had ended differently. If only his emergency with that human woman had lasted a little longer, daylight would have kept them apart, and then none of this would have happened.
“Doc Jane would like you to come into our clinic,” he said.
Helania shook her head. “There’s no need to. This isn’t the first time for me. I’ve always been fine afterward.”
“You need to be checked out.”
“Why?” As he just stared at her, her thought process slowly came around. “I’m not pregnant.”
“We had sex right before it hit.”
“I’m not pregnant.”
“You may be.”
“I’m not.”
As they got quiet again, she realized she was being unreasonable, but she couldn’t back down. The idea that she might be responsible for another living thing? She refused to contemplate the possibility—and she felt like as long as she didn’t open that door mentally, then that outcome would not be part of her destiny.
She was a hermit who could barely take care of herself. How in the world . . .
“Do you need to feed?” he asked.
Helania looked up at him. “Feed?”
As he popped his brows—like he was wondering if her mental lapse was something medically significant—she shook her head. “No, I don’t have to take a vein.”
“When was the last time you did?”
“Before Isobel died. She had a friend who let us take his vein, but I haven’t been in touch with him since she passed.”
“Eight months?”
“I don’t need to more than once a year, really.” God, if that wasn’t shining down on how infrequently she left the damn house, she didn’t know what a bright light was. “I’m fine—”
“Helania, you need to be—”
“I’m not pregnant.”
“I’m not debating this with you.” Boone surged to his feet. “Tomorrow at midnight, you