The Blood of a Baron - K.J. Jackson Page 0,57
That is what I do remember. I uttered the words. I did. I wanted to slice you so deep you would feel for yourself the pain I was in.”
She gasped a breath, her arms wrapping around her middle. “Well, you succeeded.”
“Aye. I can see I did. But I never meant them. Never. I know you—know your weaknesses, where you are the most raw and I went after the things that would break you, hurt you the most. I was out of my mind—raging. But I never meant any of it—I couldn’t. If I could turn back time I would do so and scrape every one of those words off my tongue. All I can do now is apologize.”
He took one small step forward and a willow branch brushed over his shoulder. “You have always, since I was thirteen, been my guiding star, Laney. Always. Even when I hated you, I still yearned for you, and that made me hate you all the more. Rune said I was angry, and I was—always—and all of that seeped from the dark core of me that had turned hollow, that had turned to bitter blackness that night I lost everything—you—who I was.”
He took another step forward and she had to close her eyes. Shut herself off from his assault.
“But you have to see past that night. See today. See what’s in front of you. I’m in front of you. I’m here. Wanting you. Needing you. Begging for your heart again. Begging for forgiveness. All you have to do is open your eyes and look at me.”
Her head shook, her eyes squeezing tight. “I am trying, Wes, I am. But you wounded me so deeply when you abandoned me.” She gulped a shaking breath. “And how you came to me with Morton’s body. You admitted to wanting to crush me—you said all the anger left you, but you still wanted to see me suffer.”
“Because I had lived in that anger for so long. It was who I was and I couldn’t shake it—couldn’t veer so easily from the course I’d set so long ago. The anger dissipated—but yes, there were still remnants, still hurt and thoughts of revenge. I saw you at Gruggin Manor and it shook me to my bones—I didn’t want to feel anything for you—couldn’t allow myself to feel anything for you. So I did the only thing I could—I clung to the past, to revenge, to hate.”
Her eyes opened to him. He’d moved more than the two steps toward her. Five. Six.
Dangerously close.
Her arms tightened around her middle. “And that is exactly why I cannot stop questioning everything—wondering when it is you will laugh and tell me all of this was a sham. When you will repeat that night—call me rubbish, jeer at my height, tell me how I never meant anything to you. I lived it once—I cannot live it again.”
Her lips pulled inward, biting them between her teeth for a long breath as he took a final step toward her and stopped, his dark eyes looking down at her with intent. With fire.
“Laney—”
“If you are doing all this to shatter me in the cruelest way possible, Wes, then you are there. Crush me now. This is your moment.”
His hands clasped about her face. “That moment would require my death, for that is the only thing that could ever make me hurt you again. And I don’t intend on dying, not until we are old with dozens of grandchildren running about our feet. Not until your hand is wrinkled, yet still grasping mine.”
His hands heating her face, her eyes closed for a long breath, a tear slipping past her lashes and down her cheek. “I don’t want to be broken anymore, Wes.”
His forehead dipped down to rest on hers, his words a low rumble. “I am here. With you. And I surrender. I cannot hold onto hate when all I truly want is to love you. Have you again. Marry you. Take each half of our broken souls and make both of us whole again.”
His breath twisted with hers, the heat of him swallowing her.
He was there. Completely. No hesitation.
All she had to do was lift her head, let her lips find his.
The smallest of movements. The grandest of steps.
She was either going to be shattered beyond repair in the next moment, or the world would be hers.
Her shoulders pulling back, she drew in a long breath, scraping the last vestiges of courage from her nearly empty well.
She tilted her