From Blood & Ash by Jennifer L. Armentrout Page 0,62
the other chair and sat, leaning toward me. “But I’m your friend. You’re supposed to tell your friends these kinds of things.”
Friend.
I wanted so very badly to believe that we were—that we’d be that if she weren’t bound to me. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything. It’s just that…I’ve done a lot of things I shouldn’t do, but this…this is different. I thought if I didn’t say anything, it would, I don’t know…”
“Go away? That the gods wouldn’t know?” Tawny shook her head. “If the gods know now, they knew then, Poppy.”
“I know,” I whispered, feeling terrible, but I couldn’t tell her why I’d kept it to myself. I didn’t want to hurt her, and I sensed that this would. I wouldn’t need my touch to know that.
“I’ll forgive you for not telling me if you tell me what happened in very, very graphic detail,” she said.
I cracked a grin, and then I did just that. Well, almost that. As I slowly unhooked my veil and draped it across my lap, I told her how I’d come about to be in the room with him and how he thought I was Britta. I told her how he offered to do whatever I wanted once he realized that I wasn’t her, and that he’d asked me to wait for him to return. But I didn’t tell her how he’d kissed me elsewhere.
Tawny stared at me with more awe than even Agnes had when she realized I was the Maiden. “Oh, my gods, Poppy.”
I nodded slowly.
“I so wish you’d stayed.”
“Tawny.” I sighed.
“What? You can’t say you don’t wish you’d stayed. Not just a little bit.”
I couldn’t say that.
“I bet you wouldn’t be a Maiden any longer if you had.”
“Tawny!”
“What?” She laughed. “I’m kidding, but I bet you’d barely be a Maiden. Tell me, did you…enjoy it? The kissing?”
I bit down on my lip, almost wishing that I could lie. “Yes. I did.”
“Then why are you so upset that he’s your guard?”
“Why? Your hormones must be clouding your rational thought.”
“My hormones are always clouding my rational thought, thank you very much.”
I snorted. “He’s going to recognize me. He has to once he hears me speak, right?”
“I imagine.”
“What if he goes to the Duke and tells him that I was at the Red Pearl? That I…allowed him to kiss me?” And do more, but at this point, the kissing would be bad enough. “He has to be one of the youngest Royal Guards, if not the youngest. It’s clear he’s interested in advancement, and what better way to secure that than to gain the Duke’s favor. You know how his favorite guards or staff are treated! They’re practically treated better than those on the Court.”
“I don’t think he has an interest in gaining His Grace’s favor,” she argued. “He said you were beautiful.”
“I’m sure he was just being kind.”
She stared at me as if I’d admitted to snacking on dog hair. “First off, you are beautiful. You know that—”
“I’m not saying that to fish for compliments.”
“I know, but I felt the overwhelming need to remind you of such.” She gave me a quick, broad smile. “He didn’t have to say anything in response to the Duke being a general ass.”
My lips twitched.
“He could’ve just ignored it and proceeded on to the Royal Guard oath, which, by the way, he made sound like…sex.”
“Yes,” I admitted, thinking I wouldn’t have realized that before the night in the Red Pearl. “Yes, he did.”
“I almost needed to fan myself, just so you know. But back to the more important part of this development. Do you think he’s already recognized you?”
“I don’t know.” I let my head fall back against the seat. “I wore a mask that night, and he didn’t remove it, but I think I would recognize someone in or out of a mask.”
She nodded. “I would like to think that I would, and I would definitely hope that a Royal Guard would.”
“Then that means he chose not to say anything.” He hadn’t said anything as both Vikter and he had escorted us to my chambers. “Although, he might not have recognized me. It was dimly lit in that room.”
“If he didn’t, then I imagine he will when you speak, as you said. It’s not like you can be completely silent every time you’re around him,” she stated. “That would be suspicious.”
“Obviously.”
“And odd.”
“Agreed.” I toyed with the chains on the veil. “I don’t know. Either he didn’t, or he did and chose not to say anything. Maybe