From Blood and Ash (Blood And Ash #1) - Jennifer L. Armentrout Page 0,92

even step outside.” The memory of my mother’s screams forced my eyes open. I swallowed. “A woman—someone who was staying at the inn—was able to grab Ian and pull him into this hidden room, but I hadn’t wanted to leave my mom and it just…” Dark and disjointed flashes of the night attempted to piece themselves together. Blood on the floor, the walls, running down my mother’s arms. Losing my grip on her slippery hand, and then grabbing hands and snapping teeth. The claws… And then the soul-crushing, fiery pain until, finally, nothing. “I woke up days later, back in the capital. Queen Ileana was by my side. She told me what had happened. That our parents were gone.”

“I’m sorry,” Hawke said, and I nodded. “I truly am. It’s a miracle you survived.”

“The gods protected me. That’s what the Queen told me. That I was Chosen. I came to learn later that it was one of the reasons the Queen had begged my mother and father not to leave the safety of the capital. That…that if the Dark One became aware of the Maiden being unprotected, he’d send the Craven after me. He wanted me dead then, but apparently, he wants me alive now.” I laughed, and it hurt a little.

“What happened to your family is not your fault, and there could be any number of reasons for why they attacked that village.” He dragged a hand through his hair, pushing the now-dry strands back from his forehead. “What else do you remember?”

“No one…no one in that inn knew how to fight. Not my parents, none of the women, or even the men. They all relied on the handful of guards.” I rubbed my fingers together. “If my parents knew how to defend themselves, they could’ve survived. It might’ve been just a small chance, but one nonetheless.”

Understanding flickered across Hawke’s face. “And you want that chance.”

I nodded. “I won’t…I refuse to be helpless.”

“No one should be.”

Blowing out a little breath, I stilled my fingers. “You saw what happened tonight. They reached the top of the Rise. If one makes it over, more will follow. No Rise is impenetrable, and even if it were, mortals come back from outside the Rise cursed. It happens more than people realize. At any moment, that curse could spread in this city. If I’m going down—”

“You’ll go down fighting,” he finished for me.

I nodded.

“Like I said, you’re very brave.”

“I don’t think it’s bravery.” I returned to staring at my hands. “I think it’s…fear.”

“Fear and bravery are often one and the same. It either makes you a warrior or a coward. The only difference is the person it resides inside.”

My gaze lifted to him in stunned silence. It took me a moment to formulate a response. “You sound so many years older than what you appear.”

“Only half of the time,” he said. “You saved lives tonight, Princess.”

I ignored the nickname. “But many died.”

“Too many,” he agreed. “The Craven are a never-ending plague.”

Letting my head rest against the back of the chair, I wiggled my toes toward the fire. “As long as an Atlantian lives, there will be Craven.”

“That is what they say,” he said, and when I glanced back at him, a muscle flexed along his jaw as he stared at the dwindling fire. “You said that more come back from outside the Rise cursed than people realize. How do you know that?”

I opened my mouth. Dammit. How would I know that?

“I’ve heard rumors.”

Shit.

His gaze slid to me. “It’s not spoken about a lot, and when it is, it’s only whispered.”

Unease stirred. “You’re going to need to be more detailed.”

“I’ve heard that the child of the gods has helped those who are cursed,” he said, and I tensed. “That she has aided them, given them death with dignity.”

I didn’t know if I should be relieved that was all he’d heard and that he hadn’t brought up my gift. But the fact that he, someone who hadn’t been in the city all that long, had heard such rumors wasn’t exactly reassuring.

If Vikter found out that Hawke had heard such a thing, he would not be happy. Then again, I doubted if Vikter would allow me to assist him after the last time anyway.

“Who has said such things?” I asked.

“A few of the guards,” he told me, and my stomach sank even further. “I didn’t believe them at first, to be honest.”

I schooled my features. “Well, you should’ve stuck with your initial reaction. They’re mistaken if they think