From Blood and Ash (Blood And Ash #1) - Jennifer L. Armentrout Page 0,106

everything about him said that it was, in fact, a genuine inquiry. “I can’t believe you’d ask that.”

“Why?” He came to stand behind me.

“Because I couldn’t do that,” I told him. “I wouldn’t.”

“It seems to me that this honor that has been bestowed upon you comes with very few benefits. You’re not allowed to show your face or travel anywhere outside the castle grounds. You didn’t even seem all that surprised when the Priestess moved to strike you. That leads me to believe it’s something fairly common,” he said, his brows dark slashes above his eyes. “You are not allowed to speak to most, and you are not to be spoken to. You’re caged in your room most of the day, your freedom restricted. All the rights others have are privileges for you, rewards that seem impossible for you to earn.”

I opened my mouth, but I didn’t know what to say. He’d pointed out all that I didn’t have, and made it so painfully clear. I looked away.

“So, I wouldn’t be surprised if you did try to escape this honor,” he finished.

“Would you stop me if I did?” I asked.

“Would Vikter?”

I frowned, not even sure I wanted to know why he’d asked that, but I answered honestly anyway. “I know Vikter cares about me. He’s like…he’s like I imagine my father would have been if he were still alive. And I’m like Vikter’s daughter, who never got to take a breath. But he would stop me.”

Hawke said nothing.

“So, would you?” I repeated.

“I think I would be too curious to find out exactly how you planned to escape to stop you.”

I coughed out a short laugh. “You know, I actually believe that.”

“Will she report you to the Duke?” he asked after a moment.

Pressure settled on my chest as I looked at him. He was staring out the window. “Why would you ask?”

“Will she?” he asked instead.

“Probably not,” I said, lying all too easily. The Priestess probably went straight to the Duke. “She’s too busy with the Rite. Everyone is.” As the Duke would be, so I might get lucky and at least have a delay between now and when I would inevitably be summoned. Hopefully, that meant that Hawke would also get lucky. If he were removed from his post, it was unlikely that I would ever see him again.

The sadness that thought brought forth meant that it was far past time to change the subject. “I’ve never been to a Rite.”

“And you’ve never snuck into one?”

I dipped my chin. “I’m offended that you’d even suggest such a thing.”

He chuckled. “How bizarre that I could think that you, who has a history of misbehaving, would do such a thing.”

I grinned at that.

“You haven’t missed much, to be honest. There’s a lot of talking, a bunch of tears, and too much drinking.” His gaze slid to mine. “It’s after the Rite where things can get…interesting. You know how it is.”

“I don’t know,” I reminded him, even though I had an idea of what he spoke of. Tawny had told me that once the ritual of the Rite was completed, and the Mistresses and stewards took the new Ladies and Lords in Wait, and the Priests left with the third daughters and sons, the celebration changed. It became more…frantic and raw. Or at least that was what I’d interpreted from Tawny, but it seemed too bizarre to imagine the Ascended being involved in anything like that. They were always so…cold.

“But you know how easy it is to be yourself when you wear a mask.” His voice was low as his gaze held mine. “How anything you want becomes achievable when you can pretend that no one knows who you are.”

Warmth infused my cheeks. Yes, I did know that, and how kind of him to remind me. “You shouldn’t bring that up.”

His head tilted. “No one is close enough to overhear.”

“That doesn’t matter. You…we shouldn’t talk about that.”

“Ever?”

I started to say yes, but something stopped me. I pulled my gaze from his. Outside the window, the violet-hued butterfly bushes stirred softly in the breeze.

Hawke was quiet for several moments before asking, “Would you like to go back to your room?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Not particularly.”

“Would you like to go out there instead?”

“You think it would be safe?”

“Between you and me, I would think so.”

The corners of my lips lifted. I liked that he’d included me, acknowledging that I could hold my own. “I used to love the courtyard. It was the one