The Blessings of the Animals: A Novel - By Katrina Kittle Page 0,36
differently I would.”
I pulled my hand away. He may want to leave me differently, but he still wanted to leave me. “I can’t imagine you not in my life,” he said. “You’ve been my best friend. You are my best friend. I hope you know that.”
I stared at him. What the hell?
His hand went to the gold cross he wore around his neck—a gift from his grandmother. He moved it back and forth on its chain, then brought it up over his chin and held it before his lips. The movements were so boyish.
“I don’t know if that’s how your little fantasy runs in your brain, that I’m going to be your buddy while you fuck around and make an ass of yourself and your family, but it’s not going to play out like that.” The poison that welled up in me astonished me—an urge to hurt him. “I wouldn’t be friends with anyone who’s behaved in the cowardly, self-absorbed, narcissistic”—my brain scrambled for adjectives that would cut him—“despicable, dishonorable way you have.”
The injured look in his eyes was what I was after, but it enraged me further. How could he be hurt by what I said? How could he not already know it was true?
I took a deep breath, to get a grip, before I started throwing things. “We’re not going to be ‘friends,’ but we are Gabriella’s parents. We have to be good parents to her, no matter how we feel about each other.”
He nodded. “Absolutely.”
I wanted to scream, Then why haven’t you called her? but I fought to keep level and sound sane. “I’m really worried about her. That’s why I called you.”
I saw him snap into focus, bringing that cross to his lips.
“I . . . I’m scared she might be pregnant.”
He stared at me for a second, as if translating what I’d said. Then he let the cross fall back to his chest and made a face, exasperated. “Cami,” he said disapprovingly.
I told him the scene I’d witnessed at the kennel, how they both walked around dazed.
Bobby crossed his arms and set his jaw.
“She threw up this morning,” I said. “Then she lied about it.”
He closed his eyes too long again. “Cami, I know you’re upset, but this isn’t fair.”
What did he just say? A year seemed to pass as we stared each other down. I finally formed words, “You think I’m making this up?”
He sighed. “I think you’re very upset and not thinking clearly—which is my fault, I admit—but Cami . . . I’m not coming home.”
Gravity seemed to triple, rooting me to my spot. I wanted to stab him with his own expensive, snooty knives—they were within arm’s reach. The image was too satisfying and frightening. I stood up and turned my back on him. “We’re done. You should go.”
He stood quickly, probably relieved to be dismissed. He paused, then asked, “Do you know if Gabriella is coming to the party tomorrow?”
“I don’t know if she’s going to your party because I don’t know if she even knows she’s invited!” I yelled. “Why don’t you talk to her and ask her yourself? You’re breaking her heart, you asshole!”
He at least had the decency to look sorrowful. But then he asked, “If people ask, Uncle Tony or whoever, what do you want me to tell them? About, you know, why you’re not there?”
I opened my arms. “How about the truth? I know that’s apparently not your first instinct, but seriously, are you just going to avoid talking about it to people in hopes they don’t notice? Like you did with your mom?”
“That was low, giving her my address. You know I can handle her, but—”
“But what? Zayna was a little thrown by the wrath of Mimi?”
I’ve never seen someone look so ashamed. “You shouldn’t have given her the address.”
As sweetly as I could, I said, “I didn’t know your address. You wouldn’t tell me, remember?”
“You woke Gabriella up just to get back—”
“No, I believe your mother woke Gabriella up knocking on our door at two in the morning! Which she wouldn’t have had to do if you hadn’t been too big of a chickenshit to return her calls! What did you think she would do?” Bobby’s face told me he’d never considered this. Had I always been married to the village idiot and never noticed? I repeated, “You should go.”
The cross came back to his lips. He nodded. “I want to take a few more things with me.”