Blame It on the Bikini - By Natalie Anderson Page 0,25

with her. She was the one who’d lain in bed crying her eyes out. She was the one who’d gone out and got drunk to try to forget about him and ease the pain. She was the one who’d brought home some random guy and slept with him just to feel wanted. She’d woken up the morning of her first exam with a dry mouth and a sick stomach and an inability to remember the name of the man in her bed. She’d been mortified and ashamed and sick. Hung-over and bleary-eyed, she’d not even made it past the first hour of the exam. The one that afternoon she’d turned up, signed her name and walked out again. The last exam she’d actually tried to do something on but had panicked halfway through and walked out. Her supervisor had called her in when the results came out. Had asked what had happened, had wanted her to get a doctor’s note or something because her performance was so shockingly below her usual standard. Below anyone’s standards. But she could never have done that. It was her fault, her responsibility.

She’d fed from the scholarship fund long enough. All her secondary schooling, now half her university degree. No more. She was making her own way in the world—and paying her own way. Nothing mattered more than gaining financial independence, by getting a good job. And if it meant it took longer for her to finish her degree working part-time, so she could live, then that was just the way it had to be.

‘What have you learned?’ Brad asked.

She turned and looked at him directly. ‘That I can’t let anything or anyone get in the way of my studies again. Definitely no man, no relationship.

‘That’s why you don’t want to get involved with anyone? That’s why it’s inconvenient?’

‘That’s right.’ She nodded, denying the other reason even to herself. ‘I’m busy. I’m working at the bar every night and at the café on the weekends. I’ve got lectures midweek and assignments and reading to do in and around that. I just don’t have time for anyone or anything else.’

‘You can’t let one bad experience put you off for ever.’

‘Not for ever. Just the next couple of years.’

He frowned. ‘But you get time off over Christmas, right?’

‘From lectures but I have assignments and I have shifts right the way through.’ The public holidays paid good money, and patrons were more generous tippers too. ‘I’m not interested in anything.’

‘Not a great quality of life for you, though, is it? All work and no play.’

‘It’s not for ever,’ she said again.

‘No? How many years are you off finishing your degree?’

‘Part-time it’s going to take me three. That’s with taking summer papers as well.’

‘So no nookie for you for another three years?’ He shook his head, looking appalled. ‘That’s more than a little tragic.’

‘Sex isn’t the be-all and end-all,’ she said with more confidence than she felt.

‘It’s up there. Without sex there can be no life.’

‘We’re not talking biology here.’

‘You’re going to be miserable,’ he warned.

‘I’m not. I’m going to achieve what I want to achieve.’

‘With no help from anybody.’

‘You understand, right?’

‘No, I don’t.’

Startled, she looked at him.

‘I don’t see why it has to be that miserable.’ He turned and met her eyes. ‘No such thing as balance with you, is there?’

‘I have to do what I have to do. And I’m not into the casual-sex scene.’ She cleared her throat, trying to hold the blush at bay as she remembered that mortifying morning. ‘I learned that too. I don’t want a fling. But nor do I want a relationship right now. I have too much else to do.’

‘All or nothing,’ he murmured.

‘Right now it’s nothing,’ she confirmed.

He looked at her, brown eyes serious. ‘Okay.’ He held her gaze. ‘Message received loud and clear.’

She said nothing. He turned back to the computer and pulled the list of cases nearer. Mya watched his fingers fly over the keyboard. Serious, focused.

That was it? She’d told him as explicitly as she could that she didn’t want an affair and he just accepted it?

Because here was the thing—she was still totally hot for the guy. How could he be so focused when she was dying of desire? She’d gone for honesty and he’d taken it. He’d backed right off. But instead of feeling any kind of relief, she felt more wound up. She’d been so sure he’d make some kind of move. She’d been so sure she’d say no. Only there were no