I groaned and listened to the whispering of the blade at the back of my mind. Just that was enough to ground me. Gave me the strength to think past the fear. “I…I think I’m okay.”
“Hold your sword, Kit,” Damon said quietly. “You’re steadier when you have it.”
I closed my eyes. There had been a time in my life when I had gone to sleep cradling her next to me. Times when I couldn’t sleep without her, when I wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t leave the house for anything unless I had that damn blade. I didn’t want to go back to being that scared again.
“I want her sheathed,” I whispered.
Distantly, I heard the soft brush of fabric. The creak of leather. And then Damon said, “Thanks.” Then he pushed the sheathed blade into my hands. “She’s here. Now get this done. Hiding won’t make it easier.”
Hiding might not. But running could, I thought absently. Gripping the leather, I swallowed back the panic and made myself talk.
“He was in my dreams, talked about my…” I swallowed back the bitter taste of fear. “Talked about my energy, how it made him feel alive. Then he said how much better it was since he’d fed from me. It freaked me out. I told him to leave. I remember that. Then there was…something. I don’t know if somebody else was in the room, or if he wanted me to think somebody was. I don’t know what happened. He told me to wake up, and I wanted to, just to get away from him, but I couldn’t. Then…something shoved me under.”
I gripped the sword to me and closed my eyes.
“He told me you were killing me, Damon. I’d done the job and the Alpha was done with me so you were going to kill me.”
I finished the tea.
I can’t much say it calmed my nerves, but I finished it.
Es took the cup and continued to stand there, studying me critically.
“What?” I asked wearily. I needed to get the blood off of me. I needed to sleep, but I was terrified. I needed…shit. I didn’t know what I needed.
“You said he mentioned your energy.”
I gave a short, jerky nod.
A troubled look into her eyes. “And he’s fed from you.”
“Yes.”
“How many times?”
“Just the once,” I said quietly. Never again—I’ll die before I let him feed from me again. I’d rather be dead than let him deepen this…whatever. Maybe Damon had been right, after all, and death was better than fucking with a vampire.
Es rubbed her brow. “Not all vampires are like Jude, child. Some are just more…apt, we’ll say, to feeding from a psychic vein. It appears that’s what Jude was doing and he’s found a vein he very much likes in you. The blood feed deepened his connection to you. And it likely gave him a taste for more.” She lifted her head and the pale gray of her eyes glinted with warning. “He’ll try again,” she said, her voice blunt.
“I know that.” And that’s when my chaotic, jumping brain finally settled and I knew what I needed to do. I needed to figure out how to kill Jude. Tall order. I wondered if I could get my hands on a small range missile. It could maybe do the job.
“Why did you let him bite you, Kit?”
I glared at her. “At the time, I didn’t think I had much of a choice.”
“Well, that’s understandable.” A faint smile curled her lips. “Life happens that way at times, doesn’t it? But you have options now. Choices. But the fact is…he bit you and there’s a bond. Jude is old. He’s not ancient, but he’s got some years on him, so he’s strong. He’s also ruthless and something of a…well.” She pursed her lips and then said, “To be blunt, he’s a dick.”
I stared at her and then nodded. “I can agree with that.”
“He occasionally has his moments where he isn’t a total bastard, but even those moments are usually fueled by some innate drive to manipulate. He is always scheming.” She studied my face. “I heard he aided you once. Years ago. Even then, he was likely scheming. Don’t believe he has any innate sense of decency. Many vampires do. Jude does not.”
“We just established he’s a dick, right?”
Es chuckled. “Indeed we did.” She reached out and caught my wrist.
I tensed as she traced over the path where he had bitten me. I couldn’t see where he had bitten me and there was no way anything lingered.