the Dashokovs to retaliate and put Natalia’s life in peril? “Just this once, I wish you would think before you opened your mouth.” The words flew out before he could stop them. From the look on her face, he knew he had unintentionally hurt her. His polar bear reared up in anger and began to tear his insides to shreds. “I didn’t mean—”
“I thought maybe after tonight, I’d be done.” Though her voice shook, she continued. “That I would magically change into this person that you needed me to be. But I realize now, I won’t ever be done, will I? I’ll never be good enough to stand beside you.”
“No, J.D., please—”
“You know, everyone else laughing at me and calling me names, I can take. I’ve heard it my entire life and told each and every one of those people to fuck off. But you know what hurt the most, Cam? The fact that you didn’t have my back in there. You, the one person I need most on my side, were ashamed of me. Well, let me tell you something, Cam! I’m not ashamed of me. I like me just the way I am, and I don’t care what you, your snooty family, or anyone else thinks!”
Her words had hit their mark, like darts pinning him into place. He couldn’t move, not even to stop her as she brushed past him to go back into the ballroom.
While he may have justified his actions because his uncle was there, she was hurt nonetheless. And it was true, he did feel embarrassed at her antics.
But he was wrong to criticize her or make her feel like she had to change to be with him, as if who she was wasn’t good enough for him.
“Bloody hell!” He pressed a palm to his head as dread crept into his chest. He had hurt her so deeply. The woman he loved. I’m a fucking bastard.
His bear agreed wholeheartedly, then urged him to go back inside. I know we have to get her back. He had to apologize to her right away. Tell her he was wrong, grovel on his knees if he had to.
However, mere words would mean nothing to her. He had to think of something else. Something big. A gesture so grand, she wouldn’t be able to ignore it. But what?
As he re-entered the ballroom and the music of the orchestra blasted into his eardrums, an idea struck. Of a grand gesture he could do to win her back.
His heart drummed as anxiety filled him at the thought of what he was about to do. There were so many people here. They would be watching. And she could still reject him, and the bond would never form. But, at this point, he had nothing to lose.
Chapter Fifteen
J.D.’s body vibrated from rage and humiliation, but she swore to herself she wouldn’t cry. Her damn chest ached like someone had buried an axe in there, but she willed herself to get ahold of the tears burning in her throat. Feeding the anger growing inside her was the only way to stop the deluge threatening to burst out.
She rushed out of the ballroom and down the hallway to the women’s powder room. Thankfully, it was empty at the moment, so she turned the lock behind her, then leaned back and let out a calming breath.
I thought I could do it.
She’d tried so hard. But none of it was good enough for Cam. She thought getting dressed up and attending this stupid ball would make her good enough. But his actions tonight had told her otherwise. She would never be the mate he needed her to be.
Sure, she could have stayed meek and quiet, but that wasn’t her. She could probably look over the fact that he didn’t introduce her first or that he didn’t defend her when Arabella started acting like a bitch. But the worst part was feeling his embarrassment at her actions and apologizing for her when she was only defending herself.
Her cat hissed and seethed. It wanted to get out, pounce on that bitch and claw her eyes out. And J.D. was sorely tempted to let it.
“J.D.?”
The knock at the door startled her and jolted her out of her thoughts.
“J.D.? Are you in there? I saw you walking this way.”
Natalia. She wasn’t ready to face her. Or anyone. So she remained quiet.
“I know you are in there, kotyonok.”
Damn. “I’m uh … I’m not entertaining right now, Your Highness. Please leave me alone.”