I was stabbed through the stomach. I saw myself fall, blood poured out of the wound, and then I started coughing up blood.”
“Where were we? Where was I?” asks Logan. I rehash the whole vision for everyone—not leaving out a single detail. They need to know everything. Visions aren’t set in stone, because the future isn’t. Only the past is. There is always a chance that something will change, but I’m not going to bet too much on it.
“It was one thing assuming that I was going to die tomorrow, but actually seeing myself…” My voice cracks. “He was laughing at me...”
“It’s not going to happen, Ry. We’re not going to let it happen. Visions can always be changed. We’ve seen that already,” says Colton. “What I don’t understand is why we were all split up. Why didn’t we stick together?”
Focusing on my lap, I stop listening to their conversation. I don’t know the answers to his questions. I told them everything I know. My mind keeps drifting back to the yard, when Thomas was standing over me, satisfaction in his eyes, as he watched me fall to the ground. It’s weird to see how quickly life can leave a person. A second after being stabbed, I looked like death. My pale skin whitened. My eyes looked dull and void of any exuberance and pain etched across my face.
I can’t get the images out of my head. The way the blood pooled around my body, creating an orb surrounding my torso. The way its deep coloring contrasted with my abnormally pale skin as it flowed out of my mouth. The worst part was the look on Colton’s face. The look that told me he blamed himself for not being able to stop it from happening. The look of pure helplessness, knowing that there’s nothing that can be done.
I am only eighteen. There are so many things that I have yet to do in life. I’ll never fall in love or get married. I’ll never have a chance to settle down somewhere and start a family. I don’t want to die, not yet anyways. More than that, I don’t want anyone blaming themselves for my death.
Even more than that, I know that I don’t want to dwell on what is going to happen. I bring my attention back to the present and find everyone still talking about the vision. I stand up and walk past everyone, towards the stairs.
“Where are you going?” Emma calls after me.
“I’m going upstairs to change out of these clothes. I don’t want to dwell on my imminent death anymore. I’d rather forget that today may be my last day. I’m going to push it out of my mind like I do your thoughts. I’m going to go into tomorrow and fight with everything I have. If something changes, awesome. If not…well there’s not much any of us can do about it right now.” I walk up the stairs and out of sight.
Dressed in a pair of white shorts and a large shirt, that I think I took from Liam, I grab my notebook and iPod and go to the entertainment room. Everyone will find me soon enough. Turning on Pandora, I sit down in the chair that I usually share with Liam and begin drawing. Drawing people isn’t my expertise, but today I feel like drawing a person.
I draw an extreme close-up on a face; the eye encompassing the majority of the page. I am shading it, when I see everyone walk into the room. My music is so loud, that I can’t hear anything they’re saying. Liam stops in front of me. Without looking up, I stand up and wait for him to sit down. He pulls me back to the seat once he is comfortable. Sitting on his lap, I shift until I am in a decent position and then continue drawing. The final detail is a small tear cascading from the corner of the eye.
Turning my music down, I flip the page and begin drawing another picture: my dream house. It’s an old Victorian house with a wraparound porch on the ocean. Its faded white paint chipping is in some areas giving it character. Sea gulls are flying over head. In my mind, I can hear the sound of the ocean slamming in small waves against the shore line. Liam reaches up and pulls one of the headphone pieces out of my ear. “What are you drawing?”