Blackbird's Fall - Jenika Snow Page 0,21

hair and cupped her cheeks. Staring into her eyes, he saw the raw agony.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered again.

She looked down at his mouth, and his whole body tightened. And when she rose on her toes, and he knew she was about to kiss him, everything stopped inside him. When she was a hairsbreadth away from his mouth, her warm, sweet wine-smelling breath brushing along his, he took a step back.

“I don’t want to take advantage of you when you’re upset and had half a bottle of wine.” He smoothed his fingers over her cheeks, feeling the warmth, the smoothness of her flesh. He was being honest and trying really fucking hard not to give in to his desires.

“You don’t want me?” she asked softly.

“Maya,” he said her name on a groan and closed his eyes. “I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you.” He opened his eyes again, hoping she saw the truth. “I want you so bad it’s hard to walk comfortably most of the time.” He saw her cheeks turn red as she blushed, and he smoothed his thumbs along the swells, loving how sweetly she was looking up at him. “But I’m not a bastard and won’t take advantage of you, and that’s what I’d be doing if I gave in right now.”

She didn’t say anything, but then she turned from him, clearly embarrassed. For a second, she kept her back to him, staring at the kitchen table. “I’m sorry.” She left the dining room.

“Maya, please wait.” But she didn’t. He let her run away, because she needed that space, needed to have that time. He would talk to her about this tomorrow, make her see he wanted her, but he wanted her when she wasn’t hurting and when she wasn’t half drunk.

“Fuck,” he said under his breath. He left the kitchen and headed upstairs, needing to take a bath, to wash off the day, what happened, and just relax. He also needed to jerk off, because as it was now, he was so aroused for Maya he could have come in his jeans.

He grabbed one of the candles in the holder and climbed the stairs. He felt like an asshole, like he pushed her away, which he had, but it still felt wrong. He didn’t know if she really understood why, even though he explained it.

He didn’t want to be that man who took what was thrown at him, who was going to be a motherfucker and be with a woman who was seeking comfort because she was in pain. He didn’t want to be that way with Maya, especially not for their first time.

Marius looked toward Maya’s bedroom, could see through the crack in the door that she was undressing, and he felt the ache in his balls intensify. He’d been hard since he walked into the house and saw her in that dress, since they looked at each other and he had listened to her sweet voice.

The light from the candles she had in the room gave him a clear view as she slowly slipped off her dress. Since coming here, he’d become this insatiable asshole when it came to her, watching her like he was afraid she’d vanish.

The way she was standing and the position of the door didn’t allow him to see anything but a swatch of her smooth, golden skin, but it was enough to have his mouth drying and his throat tightening. And then she looked over her shoulder, looked him right in the eyes, and he swore the air left him.

He turned away for her, giving her the privacy she deserved.

Damn, he needed to jerk off to make this discomfort subside. All Marius could think about was the sound of Maya’s voice and the way she looked in the candlelight. She was gorgeous, and he wanted her more with each passing day.

He wanted to keep her close, protect her from any threats, but he also wanted her to be his. It was this sensation he had in his gut, one that said maybe he had been put here for a reason, that maybe he found himself at her home because it was where he was supposed to be.

Either way, he didn’t want to leave, and he didn’t want to turn his back on her.

He shut the bathroom door and leaned against it for a second. Walking over to the sink, he set the candle on it and looked at his reflection in the mirror. His hair